Be Inspired by Laurie Fisher as She Describes How She Found Confidence in Her Art

I have with me artist, Lori Fisher. Thanks for coming in today. Thanks for having me. I love the fact that you brought this beautiful piece behind us with the UAS of blue, because it reminds me of how you and I first connected. No true. Even though we didn't really know each other at that point, you know, obviously there's probably something else going on with this particular piece, but you could say it looks a little like A swimming pool. Yeah, for sure. Actually, before I painted this piece, I did, um, a painting that was really reminiscent of water. It was accidental. And then it translated into how I resolved this one. So you're right. Wasn't intentional water, but Well, tell me about this piece and then we'll go back to our swimming pool connection. Cause now that we've got people intrigued, but let's talk about your art first since that's why you're here. Yeah. Explaining the art is something that I, I don't know that I can do eloquently. Um, for me I'm a process painter, um, working with the materials is really the joy and, you know, the discovery and, and, um, just the act of creation itself. And so where they end up, they end up. So I don't come to a canvas with any preconceived ideas at all. So I, I definitely didn't have a swimming pool or water in mind or a color palette. This one you can see if you look closely enough, a lot of layers behind it, different colors and different ideas, and that's just how they evolve. So, because I'm not an artist, when you say process painter, I think I have a sense of what that means, but for you, what does that mean? What does it mean to be a process painter? Well, and I didn't mean to say that as if it's some title that I assigned to myself, but, um, as I've learned about myself as a painter over the years, um, I've realized that it's the interaction with the materials themselves that inspiring me. So sometimes when I need a boost or, um, I'll, or yeah, just need a little dose of inspiration. I'll just go wander around at the art store and a color might jump out at me or, um, a new material, a new oil stick or something, and it'll just transform all the work in the studio at that at time. And so, you know, color is definitely one of my subjects, but it's also because of the material itself and the color is part of that material. And so I, I really just, uh, I get really lost in just the, the, uh, contact with the materials, you know, with my body. So when you use words like, like visceral, I mean, you're really talking about this kind of physical, emotional interaction with the things that you're using to create your art. Yeah. I think there's a creative intelligence in our bodies. And again, I only came to know that because, you know, I spend a lot of time looking at a, at a piece that I'm stuck on. They all get stuck and they, that's why they can take months sometimes and that, and all get to a place where I'm just not sure. And sometimes I'll turn it against the wall and won't look at it for a while or, you know, I have my methods of getting back into it, but sometimes as I'm stuck trying to solve something in my mind, even then I know that I just have to act, I don't always do that that well. Um, I sometimes spend too much time still thinking, thinking I can resolve it in my head or come up with an idea or come up with the next step in my head. But it, if I actually just pick up the paint, even if it's on something else, you know, a small study or something, if I actually just get going with the materials, usually it unlocks an answer or an idea or a next move. Sometimes I'm working on one painting and I think I'm, I'm making a mark on a painting over here. And it turns out that mark actually belongs on another piece and it resolves it, you know, but so it's this kind of push pull between all the work all the time, but it's really when I'm actually in process that the work begins to emerge. That might seem obvious, but it's not always that obvious, you know, you get close on a painting and you like certain parts of it and you, you know, you're working really hard not to then mess it up or preserve. You wanna preserve something that you like. Sometimes you have to destroy that, you know, and, um, yeah, over time, I've just learned to, to take risks, trust my gut and, you know, just throw pain around on pretty much. Does this piece have a name to it or does it just exist the way that it is and people can interpret it the way that they want to? Well, it's both. Um, I try not to title my paintings in a way that will, um, create a, an idea or define, I don't like to limit the work. I don't like to limit the work for the viewer either. You know, it's abstract work. I want people to see and connect with it. However they see and connect with it if they do, but titling, titling can be fun. Um, this ti this painting is called red L you know, I, again, in an attempt not to lead, you know, I didn't put the red L in there after having an idea of an L and it wasn't even an L but usually I finish a painting and then the titles come afterwards after a few days of thinking about it, or, you know, so sometimes I'm very literal and in, in the titling, just so I'm not leading the viewer. What about this other piece that I have that we have in the studio with us? Oh, well That, so that's interesting that painting is called Juliet. And, um, the reason why it's called Juliet is cuz it sort of reminded me of a code flag, nautical code code flags. And one of the nautical code code flags is Romeo and there is no Juliet, so that's Juliet. So when we asked you to provide us with information before you came in, you talked about the fact that writing and specifically haiku were something that you kind of worked with for quite a while. And as you're describing the, the Romeo and Juliet connection, that kind of evokes that, that writing that literary, um, aspect of the work that you do, I'm pretty fond of poetry in haiku because they are sort of abstracted varieties. So of writing, you know, I like the language itself and when I was writing more, I was often really enamored with creating the sentence or creating a poem, you know, moving the words around so that they sounded and felt and looked a certain way visually. And, um, yeah, it is. It's a, it's an abstracted form of, of writing. I think that's why I've always liked EE Cummings is that, you know, there's, there's the words and it's what they say, but also the way that they look and what he does with punctuation and yeah, it's really in my mind, it's very master. I've never found another poet that I think I like quite the same way. Yeah. It's very artful. You have a graduate degree in clinical psychology. Tell me about that. Yeah, I'm still, I'm still the same person, you know, psychology is peeling back layers of humans and, um, it's similar still to what I'm doing in the studio. And it was similar, you know, writing was a step in between those things, you know, where I'm just really intrigued and enamored by our experience, the human experience, not necessarily, you know, my painting is not necessarily emotional directly, but, um, it's all a process of self discovery, which is what intrigued me about psychology, helping others to really get to know their true selves. And, um, I didn't end up pursuing clinical psychology as a career, but it's also a same thread to me, very similar. And, you know, having spent many years doing arguably some element of psychology in the work that I do in medicine that is also very process oriented that you can go in and you can think, okay, well I need to accomplish these goals, but this person also has their goals that they want to reach. And you're both bringing to the, to the table, your own backgrounds, personal experience, and you really don't know where it could end, right. Until you both dive in and start interacting and having that collaborative relationship mm-hmm , which can be a little intimidating at times. Yeah. It's very vulnerable. It takes a lot of trust. Yeah. They're similar. Did you need to move through that, move through a phase where you, uh, felt that vulnerability and allowed yourself to trust as you are, you know, continuing to evolve your art. Was there ever a time of, I don't know, trepidation every Day yeah. Every day still. Um, and not in a insecure way necessarily, but I am, um, I will be a student for life. There's no doubt. And I am, I have no formal training and I started to paint. I don't know. I had a little yearning and started painting with a friend. Um, I had been writing and I got a little bit tired of the limitations of language actually, and explaining things. I don't didn't want to explain anything, anything anymore. And, um, yeah, I started to paint and I didn't know what I was doing at all. And it's been just, uh, and experiment the whole entire time and, you know, growing into more confidence that I just need to be as true as I can be and follow my own gut and what brings me alive and notice, you know, what that is and why I like a certain painting or why I, you know, why I like a certain artist's work? What is it about it? You know, how can I access some of that in my own work? And, um, yeah, that's all pretty vulnerable, you know, cuz you you're really putting yourself out there. And um, but I don't feel intimidated by the vulnerability of, of painting so much. It's okay with me. If people don't like my work, you know, it is okay with me. If I'm, if I'm painting authentic work, if I, I can feel if something, if I've accessed what I'm trying to access, what the world thinks doesn't matter. I like it. I like it when it resonates, you know, but you know, it's not about that anymore. So that requires a certain amount of trust in yourself. Yeah. And that comes and goes, Well, I have to say it's a little comforting to hear you say this. not that I want you to suffer in any way whatsoever, but I think it's a very human thing and that it's not always something that people are willing to share, that there is, you know, sense of uncertainty that kind of persists throughout life for most people. Yeah. Well definitely for me, Well for just maybe me too. Yeah. I guess for both of us, we can suggest this. I don't know people who are watching, maybe you have this too or not, but we, we invite you to join us in this, in this space. Um, this makes me think of our daughters and um, and we're coming back to the swimming pool, um, because obviously you and I are both, um, swim moms or I, I wanna say we are versus war because I, I would submit that I was also a soccer mom and I probably will always be a soccer mom to some extent, but um, you know, our daughters competed against each other. You and I probably spent many hours not knowing each other on opposite ends of the, of the pool deck. Um, and, um, my daughter is 26. So I'm guessing that your daughter is also somewhere around that same age mm-hmm and uh, for me, I have really getting to know my children as adults. Yeah. Because it's such a different phase. You're not raising them. It's sort of a coexistence mm-hmm um, as you've continued to grow as an artist, what have you learned about yourself that maybe has had a, an impact on your relationship with your children? Well, my daughters have always been my biggest supporters. Yeah. Truly, you know, right from the beginning. And I, I don't know where that came from. I, I don't know. I've never really thought about it other than I've always felt like they've been really enamored and, um, excited for me finding something, you know, they're artistic as well, all each of them in their own. Right. Um, so maybe, maybe this will free them also to stay creative. And even if it's, you know, a, a hobby or something on the side, but they've been really, really crucial to me continuing, you know, as I, you know, as I was growing, I knew that, um, they were right there on the sidelines, not all that differently than I've been there for them. So it's pretty beautiful. Uh, yeah, it's pretty, it's pretty great. Lots of times I'll paint something and you know, somebody says, I want that so they're not just, you know, being sweet even though they're sweet. Yeah. But I actually hadn't seen the, the pool in this and I kind of love it. There was another, the one that I mentioned before that is another painting of mine actually. Um, that looked like water, someone, someone said that it had a hous vibe because that water also has a, what looks like a lane line in it, you know, bands of orange and white, um, that one's actually at the gallery, but, uh, it's great. It's a great connection. And now I'll look at this painting in a different way. from our years and, uh, chlorine. Well, let's talk about your connection to water that goes beyond that. That's chlorinated, because I know that you've lived in Maine for a long time. And prior to that, you lived across the big pond and you were connected to water in a different way. So when you talk about, um, process painting and visceral reactions, you're actually drawing from a background that goes back to very early in your life. Yeah. I think that's an astute observation. Um, I, it took me a long time to recognize that and myself that you know, where this was coming from, cuz it's definitely not a, a little role. I saw this, it inspired me and I went and painted something. It's often in a painting in the process of painting or when looking at something finished that I have a flash of a memory or a smell or a feeling, um, that was recycled, that, that got lodged in there somewhere and made its way out again. And again, it's not as if I see something and then set out to put it on the canvas, but the, but there's, there's definitely experiences that are coming through. Uh, yeah, smells too. Do you ever try to paint a smell? Not really mm-hmm but I think that sometimes when I'm looking at a work there's a body memory for me in there, you know, of the way some something, you know, a, a Rocky beach in, in Wales where, you know, I was five years old and just the way, you know, the, the very limited amount of memory I have is fog and salt and a jellyfish and a rock cliff and some how I'll suddenly be reminded of that after a finished painting. And so it's definitely not direct, but it seeps out Well, interesting to talk about this because I, um, you know, there's kind of the, the frontal and the prefrontal cortex and all of the things that are our executive function and the things that we, that we think we know, but then there's the things that we we know, and we don't even, you know, where do they come from? Mm-hmm , you know, where do they sit in our, in our neurons, in our brains and the rest of our body. And, and when they do become, they do kind of emerge again. Sometimes it can be really Arling cuz we, we didn't even realize we forgot them. We, and we don't know where they've been the whole time and this again, this continues just indefinitely. Yeah. And what's interesting about that is, um, one of the things I think about a lot when I'm working, I, I heard it I'm I heard a quote once. Um, I haven't verified it, but I heard a quote once that, um, the artist, uh, Philip Gustin said he was a, he was a teacher in the mid century as well, an art professor. And, um, I heard that he would say his students paint what you don't know. And that stuck with me because I think for a while, not having gone to school for art in the beginning made me a little uncertain as to whether or not it was okay to call myself an artist or to do it this way to just learn on my own. And I, I had some questions about all that I didn't know. And when I heard that quote, it really was very freeing and very liberating because that's exactly what I do. It's exactly, you know, I'm always pushing, you know, into the unknown, which is really uncomfortable and, um, thrilling. Uh, but you're absolutely right. That what is coming out through that channel is things we know or our experiences that are, I think, you know, lodged in our bodies and in our, and um, so it's a dance I guess, but I think that being comfortable in the unknown is more fruitful for me and my work than trying to know things and know how and become an expert at anything. That's a, That's not a thing that I've heard many people say. I think people are either apt to, um, just not ever worry about what they know or don't know, or they're apt to say, I wanna become the best that I possibly can at one specific thing, but what you're describing, where you're just making a commitment to not knowing and to uncertainty and to be willing to just process through that. I mean, that's, uh, that's not something that is, uh, common, I think for most people. Have you found that to be true? Yeah. I don't know. I don't have a, a community of artists necessarily that I'm in communication about process with, although I read an and look at as much art as I can. Um, but yeah, all I can say is that, you know, when I'm looking at a, a painting that need, that isn't finished and that needs something that the experience of, of acting and just take the risk, that's the experience, you know, that's the, that's the whole thing right there for me. You know, if I, if I walk out of a studio, knowing that I had just liked, um, not held myself back and that might make it sound like I'm like all over the map, it's not like that. It's more, you know, can you trust yourself too, scribble a whole bunch of pink on that dark brown, just because you feel like you want to, and it's scary to, to wreck it, you know, then it was a good day and I feel really kind of elated by that. So I'm not sure that that directly, you know, answers what, what you were talking about, but for sure, um, the uncertainty, it, the uncertainty, and then ending with a result that you're happy with. That's where the, like the confidence in the work comes from. I don't think that that answered a question though. No, it did because, you know, I think we're collectively struggling with this enormous uncertainty right now as a culture. So to say that for you, your willingness to wrestle with that struggle with it, and then come out with something at the end, having trusted your willingness to wrestle with that. I think that's an important, um, it's an important consideration for all of us really that we're, you know, we're, nobody knows how to navigate this. Yeah. And so just saying, okay, here we are. I'm gonna, I'm gonna trust who I am and what I do and know that there's no path forward. That's laid out for me. So at least if I can commit to a path and get to the other side, I think that that's very powerful. Yeah. I think everything we need is in the present moment and you know, it can, you can be uncomfortable at it is uncomfortable right now. Uh, but I think that it, if you're here now and you're in the moment, uh, there's nothing wrong, you know? And I think it's when we, you know, start to think too much about the future or the past that create our own little dramas and yeah. You know, and I think that something like painting just really keeps me present, you know, I lose eight hours at a time. I'll just kind of like come up for air and I'm, oh my gosh, I gotta go. You know? And, um, , it's a pretty great feeling to kind of just be there and not be freting about what could come or how things have been ideally. How did you come to the place where you decided now it's time to bring my art to the world. Now I'd like to affiliate myself with the Portland art gallery and, um, make myself more vulnerable and be willing to share the work that I'm doing. Well, I don't know how I would've gotten there. If it were all up to me, you know, I can be a perfectionist in some ways, you know, it's never quite good enough. And so I was really lucky that, you know, I had opportunities present themselves to me. And so all I had to do was be brave and say, yes, you know, even if inside, I was like, no, , you know, but I, um, you know, I was invited into, um, couple of galleries. So I was, I was fortunate that I didn't have to go through the submission process. And I learned, I've learned a lot just by, you know, working with galleries about how to, how to finish the work and prep the work and make it gallery ready. Uh, but if I had to, I, if I had to get to a point and then decide, okay, now I'm ready to take this to a different level. I, I'm not sure I still would be, have, you know, taken the, taken the leap cuz I would be waiting for the work to be, you know, just a little bit better or a little bit more or X, Y, and Z. I don't know. So, um, but it was a real honor to join the gallery here in Portland because you know, it's nice to be meeting other artists locally and have somewhere that is in our town and our little city. I love so much. So it's, it's really fantastic. I'm thrilled to be there. Did somebody look, find your art, look at your art and say, Lori, this is it. It is your time. You need to, um, you need to agree to this. You need to jump in and be willing to do this. Did somebody support you in that? Yeah. You know there, yes. Um, along the way, there've been those people and the first person that comes to mind, uh, I don't know, you know, Aaron flat, I saw you have Aaron flat pillows. So Erin who I ha I know I have a little history with her from another chop D of life. And, um, she had her screen prints in Serena and Lilly, which is, I don't know if you know, Serena and Lilly, they're a home goods, art, uh, beautiful company. And, um, they were probably one of the first places that I'm aware of that was curating art to sell online. And so this was years ago and she, Erin said to me, you know, it's time. And I was like, mm it's not time. She was like, it's time. I was like, Nope, it's not time. And she said, all right, I'm gonna bypass you. And she went to them and she, you need to, you know, check out our work. And they wrote to me and said, we want your work. And that was like the first really big, you know, brave. Yes. You know, I had to just go for it. So yeah, I think of her a lot in that way. And it's nice when you can trust someone who and believe that they're seeing something that, you know, you can't see or don't wanna see yet. So we'll always be grateful for that. Erin is a wonderful person. Yeah. And, um, and I remember meeting her way before she had the success that she has worked so hard to achieve at this point mm-hmm . And I think it was, it was a picnic, I don't know, eight years ago, something like that. Mm-hmm but this kind of, I don't even know how to describe it exactly. But it was kind of like a, a, a room for, of artists bringing their things together. And, um, she sh I looked at her stuff and I said, wow, I really like your design. And I think she actually gave me something, even at that moment. Yeah. I ended up sounds like Erin. Yeah, absolutely. I ended up doing some more with her on a story at some point. And then I think she, me, the pillows, I don't even know how this all came together, but then I just, you know, I've continued to be impressed that not only is she, I mean, she, she shares she and she brings people along and she, she doesn't just make it her own journey and her own path. And, and I, I feel like that's part of the, the creative collaborative that needs to take place in a order to encourage people to continue. Yeah. Yeah. It's great to have people like Erin, not all of us are wired in the same way. And, you know, I mean, if we were all collaborative, it would be overwhelming, you know, but for those of us who, you know, I'm, I tend to be a bit quieter in that way. It it's really fantastic to be, you know, scooped up by those who are leaders and, and, um, yeah, she's pretty amazing. Yeah. Yeah. She's deep waters too. I like her a Lot. Think you're right. Mm-hmm and it is true that we can all be Uber collaborators because I would also be overwhelmed. Cause I also tend to be a little bit on the quiet side, but it is nice to know that we can also kind of coexist within this kind of larger sphere and everybody contributes in the way that works and creates possibilities or space for other people to do the same. Yeah, For sure. , it's, there's a bit of a Y yin yang to all of it, you know, and, um, you know, I sometimes think about the, the monks who are spending their days in prayer and like the, we need that to, and then we need the take charge leaders and vocal, you know, influencers in the world too. And it's all a big balance. I agree. Very, very well said. yes. Well, I've enjoyed our conversation today. Me too. And, um, I will, uh, forever associate you with the, uh, the lane lines and the swim mom. Um, you and I will probably always have that kind of in our hearts that, that, that past background mm-hmm . Um, but I'm very glad that you're a member of the Portland art gallery. Now it's been wonderful to have a conversation with you today. Thank you. It was really great to chat. Thanks for having me. I've been speaking with artist Lori Fisher, and you can find her work at the Portland art gallery, also online the Portland art gallery website. I hope you take the time to come to one of our openings in the future, you and get a chance to meet her. Thanks for coming in today. Thanks for.