Ethan Nestor & CrankGameplays: YouTube Phenom

Today I have with me in the studio Ethan Nester, who is a I don't know exactly how to describe you. You have so many different talents in the entertainment industry. How would you describe yourself, Ethan? I would just describe me as a content creator. I guess. I used to describe myself as a YouTuber, but now I do a lot of different stuff. So content creator, I guess just pulls 'em all into one. Thank you again for having me. Yeah. This is gonna be fun. Well, yeah, no, I love this because you're heading back to LA very soon and not Lewiston, Auburn . You're heading to the actual LA in California? Yes. Yeah. So you started this really pretty young. Yeah, I was 15 when I started making YouTube videos. so especially back then, I was pretty much only making videos on YouTube, but now I do a bunch of different platforms. But yeah, I started at 15 years old making videos. and now it's been at the end of the month, actually the 29th of August will be my 11 year anniversary. which is wild. I mean, it's pretty interesting to think that you have such a significant body of work going back mm-hmm. that many years. Yeah. It's , we were just kind of talking about this before we started recording, but sometimes it's good and sometimes it's bad to like be able to look back at old stuff and be like, oh, that's like cute. I'm glad I can look back at that. And sometimes I'm like, ah, I kinda wish that I didn't still have that up from when I was 15 or whatever. But that's part of it. What what was sort of the turning point for you? Because I mean, you, how, how many views at, at the height of your YouTubing career? What was your, how many subscribers did you have? So, I mean, right now I have the most subscribers that I've ever had. 'cause it grows every day. It's just kind of like exponential at this point, which is wild. so I have about like 2.1 million subscribers on And that's even after having transitioned away from your original focus? Yeah. I originally was doing just gaming stuff. and now I'm, I'm sort of transitioning away from that and doing different kinds of content, just kind of like whatever I want. But I still really like the gaming stuff, but it's not as creatively fulfilling. and it got like kind of easy and a little bit monotonous. So now I've been doing a bunch of different kinds of videos and just trying to be more creative and do different things so I'm not just sitting at my desk all day. So you started doing the, the gaming content back many years ago. What, what was that turning point when you said, oh, I think I could actually make a living off this? So it was probably shortly after. Well, yeah, it was like right after I moved to LA where I realized that it was starting to get to that point. but I, I didn't even realize that you could make money off of videos when I started I started back in 2012 and there was still a lot of like bigger people on the platform, but I think 2012, the most subscribed channel, I think only had a couple million subscribers. so I wasn't even aware that you could make money off of it. and then as I started doing it more, I was like, oh, you do make money off of this. That's cool. Like maybe someday I could get to a point where I can just do this. And that was my goal for a while, was to just make that the thing that I do just 'cause I loved it so much. I was like completely obsessed with it. And then at what point did you say, okay, I think I've had enough and I'm gonna move on to the next thing? I mean, that's kind of happened like a couple times, not as far as like YouTube, but there's definitely been pockets of what I've created. And I've, I mean, I just kind of had one with ending the gaming stuff and being like, okay, like I think I've kind of tapped this out now. I want to try and challenge myself a little bit more. And it's still fun to go back and do more gaming stuff. But I mean, yeah, most recently just a few months ago I was like, okay, I think I wanna move on from gaming stuff. I think I wanna do stuff that's more about my personality rather than like playing games and stuff like that. And you did it in kind of a dramatic way. I understand. I Guess I did. Yeah. I mean, that's the thing about YouTube is that you always have to kind of like cater to the algorithm. And so I don't love having to do that, but you have to be kind of click beatty and stuff sometimes. So I named the video 'cause I used to go by the name Crank Game Plays, and so I was like, this is my last crank game plays video. And then a lot of people thought that I was quitting YouTube, but I was just like, no, I'm just not gonna be crank game plays anymore. I'm just gonna go as my name and make different kinds of stuff. But yeah, it was, it was a little dramatic . Did you see this piece? And this was really interesting. And, and I was, and I was thinking to myself, so you've kind of built your whole persona around a very specific thing that you've done for a long time, since you were actually much younger. And this is a really public way to say, okay, I'm not that persona anymore. Mm-hmm. , I'm, I'm moving on. And a lot of people don't have that opportunity when they make a decision in their life that they're gonna do something different. Yeah. I really, really lucky to have the audience that I have. because since the beginning they've kind of been like all about, not necessarily like the games that I'm playing, but all about me as a person, which is really lucky because there's a lot of people that have to just stick to one little thing. And so they were all super supportive. Not only supportive, but like very excited when I made the change because they were like, oh, we get to now sort of see more of you. because before it was just me like reacting to the game that was on screen or whatever. So now it's like, okay, we get to see you do more stuff and be more of like the goofy or side of you, I guess, comes out a bit more with these different videos. I've watched several different YouTube channels with my 22 year old who really does get invested in, in these people. I, it almost seems like she views the people that she watches as kind of her, almost her friends or her family. And I think after watching them for a while, I can sort of see that that's sort of a day in the life and here's another day in the life. And so are you bringing people into kind of a day in your life or you, what is it that you're doing now that kind of keeps people tuning in? I've just been doing a lot of like, weird stuff recently. I, I've been trying to figure out like how to describe the videos that I'm making now. and they're just like, I don't know how to put them in a, in a certain category, but I'm just like trying to find ways to like be goofy and entertaining and just like try funny things. Like a video I did recently that people really loved was I had my friend cover My Body in Elmer's Glue, , I don't know if you ever did this as a kid, but like putting glue on your hands and then waiting for it to dry and then peeling it off. And I was like, I really loved doing that as a kid. What if I did that with my entire body? And it's a really dumb, like, weird idea, but it was really fun and it was like really goofy. And that's what people really love, I guess. so I've been doing stuff like that. Also, like buying like the top rated baby toys recently. And I tried them just because I think that that's a funny thing, like a grown man giving a review, an honest review on like how these baby toys are. so yeah, it's all, I don't know. Now it's just all about having fun and just trying to be goofy and have fun and try and entertain people the best I can. That must require a tremendous amount of creativity, you know, just coming up with the ideas to use for your pieces. I don't know if I would give myself that much credit. Like I feel, I do feel like I'm a creative person, but a lot of, a lot of what I is based off of like improv. Like I don't script anything. and thankfully I have Jocelyn, she is my like creative producer, and so before it used to be like, I would come up with all of my ideas and I would set up every video, but now it's a lot more fun for me because I'll give her a basic idea or she'll have an idea and then she'll sort of set everything up. and so then I can just play off of what I'm getting right then and there. And I'm a bit more surprised now because she's more involved in like, setting the video up and everything. and so I feel like I'm, I don't think that, I'm not a creative person, but I feel like, and I guess this is creativity in a way, but I'm more of just like an improviser and I think that I'm a good improviser. Like I did a ton of improv when I was in high school and past high school, and that's just kind of what I'm doing now in a sense, just not in the traditional way. but I'm just kind of improvising and trying to make jokes off of things that happen immediately. And I really like doing that stuff, especially with other people. It's interesting to me that you first answer the question, like, well, it's not that creative because somebody else is setting me up to do this, but then it's improv. Yeah. So maybe improv is a little creative, and I actually think you have to be really creative and creative kind of in the moment in a really different way to be able to do things that are more improv oriented. Yeah, I guess so. I think I just don't like giving myself credit for anything . Okay. Which is why I go to therapy. Oh, okay. Well that's also good. Yeah. All, all the different tools that you can use in your toolkit. Yeah, Yeah, Exactly. I mean, I do think that I mean, it's hard to, to actually show up in the moment and try to do something that somebody else might find as funny or entertaining or, and that's why we love watching improv. But you don't think that that's creativity. It's not that. It's not. I think, I don't know, because , I think it's just kind of like the way that I view my own videos, because at the end of the day, like they're very goofy and very fun, but I wouldn't compare it to like, to something that I would find like truly creative, like an art piece or like a short film or something like that. Like they're just like kind of goofy and entertaining. And so I guess they're inherently creative, but I just don't think of it that way, I guess. I'm not sure. And that's okay. I don't know that there's a, like a right answer here. Yeah. I'm just exploring a little bit because you know, we have different people who come on the show mm-hmm. , and they're like, but don't you usually talk about art? Mm-hmm. . And so it makes me think, so, so what is art and what is creativity? I mean, I'm not painting every day as a doctor, but I am engaging in kind of creativity when I'm working with people or having conversations. So isn't each of us engaging in some level of creativity on a pretty regular basis unless we have everything scheduled down to the minute? Yeah, that is a good point. And I think that that is kind of the beauty about YouTube and the, the reason why I really like making stuff online. and the, the platform of YouTube has changed a lot and it's got a bit more corporate than I would like it to be, but especially back in the day when I started, the draw of it for me was, oh, I see these people just playing video games and having fun. Like, I can do that. It was very relatable where it was like, oh, I could do this thing as well. And so I think that YouTube became this place where anybody could be creative in their own way and build an audience. and I, that's like my favorite thing about YouTube is that anybody can of do anything on the platform and find that little pocket of, of community. I really, really love that. I have to say, in addition to my 22 year old daughter, also my husband, who I already referred to, Kevin Thomas, who runs the Portland Art Gallery and also is the producer for the show. I'm, I would, I'm gonna out him right now. He's a ham radio guy, so he has an entire YouTube channel that is interviewing people who are also ham radio enthusiasts. That's so cool. Yes, I think so too. So I, you're definitely gonna put this in and I think when I watch him and I watch other people kind of interact on in that space, and then I, I just, I see how much community you've already, you know, referred to Yeah. That this generates. And I think this is such a great thing for people who might previously not have been able to hang out with other, let's just say ham radio enthusiasts, Uhhuh, or gaming enthusiasts because you know, maybe, maybe you're the only one in your town, let's say mm-hmm. , but then there's one in the next town over and there's, you know, 12 in New Hampshire and, you know, whatever that is. Yeah. So I think that's the democratization mm-hmm. and also the community that I is really appealing. Yeah. I think that that is another reason why I fell in love with YouTube so hard was as soon as I started making these videos, I found other people online making the same videos, and then we became friends. And most of my closest friends are people that I've met online through YouTube, because like what you just said, like I was kind of the only one that I knew where I grew up that was making videos and making them like, as consistently as I was and was as obsessive over it. And so to be able to go online and find other people that were as like obsessed with YouTube was really, really cool. Made me feel like a lot less lonely, which was nice. Yeah. Which is, I mean, I think it is also interesting to me because for years you were a gymnast mm-hmm. . So you're, you are an athlete. Yeah. Which very much is sort of an acceptable thing mm-hmm. in this day and age. And you know, obviously you build a community around that, but what if, what if you're a kid who doesn't wanna be an athlete, or you don't wanna be a scholar in high school, or, you know, you don't wanna kind of follow the traditional path, the ability to forge your own path is pretty powerful. Yeah. I think it's really important. And I, again, I really love that you can, like, with whatever interests you have, you can find that pocket and find that niche. I think it's so awesome. It's my favorite thing about, about the platform. The other thing that I find really interesting is that maybe 10 years ago when we talked about YouTube, or maybe less people would say, but what, what does that person do for a living? In fact, I think I was probably guilty of that until about five years ago. 'cause I would sit and I'd watch these videos with my daughter, I'd be like, but do they work? Mm-hmm. And how do they have enough time to actually do this stuff? And she'd say, no, mom, that's their job. Yeah. And now having been kind of doing this sort of side project with Radio Maine and other podcasts I've done, it's a lot of work. Yeah. So you actually are working quite a bit. Yeah. And, and you were describing the algorithms and sort of understanding the medium and, and how to make this into a business. Yeah. So talk to me about that. Yeah, I've always whenever I've been asked about it as far as like, what is it like doing YouTube as a job I almost don't think of YouTube as a job. I think of it as, and this is not a super healthy way of thinking about it, I think because it gets so overwhelming, but like, it's not really a job. It's kind of a lifestyle because I, and a lot of people who are like in my spot on YouTube and a lot of my friends who are successful on the platform, everyone is constantly thinking of video ideas. Everyone is constantly like recording or streaming or coming up with the next thing, or even the smaller stuff that you don't really think about, like spending the time to edit or making a thumbnail or posting and then being like, okay, this video isn't doing super well. I need to change the thumbnail to try and drive more engagement. So you're making another thumbnail and you're interacting with your community on social media. so it kind of like, it can very easily like, consume your entire life. and I have a bit of a better work life balance now, but for a while it was all I did all day every day. Because especially when you start to grow, it's just never ending feedback. And so you constantly want to be engaging with your community and constantly wanna be posting more. and it can get sort of dangerous in a way because it is like very addicting. but yeah, I've, I've always sort of seen it as almost like a lifestyle instead of a job just because it can kind of like consume everything , Which honestly, and having talked to a lot of small business owners, I mean, if you own your own business, it really is what you do a good portion of the time. Yeah. It is extremely similar to like owning a small business. It's just like, this is just all I do all the time. which again, has its ups and downs because sometimes it can be really hard to like st take a step back and be like, okay, I need to like have a day off or even just like, take a couple hours to just like sit and not work on it. I've always described like being my own boss as a blessing and a curse because it's great 'cause I can make my own schedule and do everything on my own time. but then also there's no one telling me to stop or to start. So sometimes it's like, it sucks because I make my own schedule and I'm doing this on my own time and I can figure that out. So sometimes I'm way overworking and doing way more than I should. And sometimes it leans too far on the other side where it's like, oh man, I haven't like, made a video in a week. I should probably do that. you have, you have a very strong sense of self and, and your own creativity and who you are and you've come to, it sounds like you've come to a relatively good place with that. And yet what you do for this small business, for this job, for this lifestyle, really is is highly dependent upon the feedback of others. Mm-hmm. . So how do you balance that? How do you maintain your own kind of listening to your own inner voice, but also listening to the voices of others? It's a very good question, . it is, there's a big learning curve with that. and it's something that I still kind of struggle with a little bit. But in the beginning when people first started leaving comments and stuff, I was so adamant about responding to like every comment. And I didn't want to disappoint people. And any small thing of feedback I always took to heart. 'cause I was like, okay, well I need to like be trying to please everybody. and that can get really toxic really quick where you're trying to please everybody, which is impossible. and maybe you're changing things about your videos that you actually like, but you're trying to please these other people. And so there was a long time where I, where I took what people said too much to heart, and I tried to cater too much to my audience. and that is a really good way to burn out really quick and a really good way to sort of like lose that passion because you're not doing it for you anymore. and so I've tried to, I've tried to still like respect what my audience says, but I've gotten to a point now where I think it's really good that I, it's not that I don't care what my audience says because I do, but I am, I'm constantly reminding, okay, you don't have to cater to everybody. You don't have to make every person like this video just have, if you are having fun, that should come through genuinely on camera. And then people watching will most likely enjoy because they're seeing how much fun you are having. and so I've tried to do that a lot now where I'm just having fun for me and I don't have to really worry about what my audience is gonna think as much because I think that that'll come through genuinely on camera, kind of rambly answer. No, but you know, it's interesting 'cause what you're saying is really consistent with what I've heard from different actual, like visual artists, like painting visual artists. I actually consider you a visual artist of a different sort. But let's just say we said we weren't gonna mention her name right off the bat, , but your but your mother Annie Yeah. Is a painter. Yeah. And so when I spoke with her and said, you know, tell me about your art, it was very clear that she was doing a lot of things that really resonated with her and the pieces that she was putting out in the world and hoping that it would resonate with other people and really staying true to who she was and what she was doing. And it enabled her to simultaneously kind of accept the feedback of people who would then purchase her pieces and put them in their homes, but also really continue to have that joy of painting. Yeah. Yeah. No, I think, I think that there's a lot of people that I've talked to that want tips on like starting YouTube and stuff like that. they're like, oh, I'm worried that like people won't like my videos or I'm worried that I don't have anything interesting to talk about. And I've always just been like, just do what you think is, is fun. Like you were just saying about Kevin, like, I'm not into ham radios , but you are, and you have found a community of people that are into ham radio. So like, if you have a thing that you're passionate about, like, and you start doing things with it or talking about it or whatever, like it will resonate with other people. You're not the only, you're not the only one that likes ham radios, I promise . So again, those of you who do like ham radio, I encourage you to go online and look up Kevin Thomas because I think you will really like his YouTube videos. So thank you for the additional plug. Yes. And, and my, and Kevin is absolutely behind the camera, very unhappy with the fact that we are promoting him, which gives me a great deal of pleasure. So getting back to you though. Yeah. The other thing I wonder about is, as you've described it very much is a lifestyle, which means that you're kind of constantly on mm-hmm. , and I'm wondering how you take the time or structure your life so that you actually can turn it off. You know, what is it that you do in time that you're not thinking about content? Yeah. So that was kind of why I came to Maine. I, I grew up here and I've lived in LA for almost seven years now, and I was getting to a point where I hadn't been home in a, in a while and I was like, okay, I just need to leave. and so coming home has been like a really great reset because I'm not in the hustle and bustle of, of LA it can feel very, there can be a lot of pressure kind of in LA because everyone is doing stuff all the time. and so sometimes there's a lot of pressure to be doing stuff all the time. So I just kind of needed to get out and come home and just be in nature and hang out with my friends and be where I grew up, just to kind of like ground myself a little bit. but that, that is something that I have a really hard time with, honestly. that's something that I've really struggled with for forever is like where, because I've always described myself or like the sort of like character that I do for videos, it's like, it's not, not me, but it's not normal me. It's like a hyper exaggerated version of myself. And so there's been points where I'm like, okay, where does Ethan Nestor as the individual and, and where does the Ethan Nestor performer part begin? And so those lines are a little blurred. And so it's hard I think, for me to sort of turn off. and that also like goes in with my anxiety as well, where I'll, I'll like stop working and then I'm like, oh, well I should be doing more. or like, I should be like thinking of more videos and stuff like that. And even when I'm trying to turn off, it's hard sometimes to be like, okay, you can stop thinking about videos now. You can just sit and watch a movie or whatever. I've been taking a lot of time to sit in my yard with my dog to try and have me time. I think pets are very good that way. Yeah. For me, therapeutic, I, my, my dogs are the same for me. Mm-hmm. , I understand what you're saying. Yeah. He's a, he's a good he's a good motivator to like pull me away from work. 'cause he's like, come on dad, you have to take me For a walk. We have to go outside and Play. So that's, that's nice to have him to sort of tug me away from my computer and be like, let's go do Stuff. So you're describing something that I think a lot of people find really relatable. Hmm. I mean, as somebody who's in the public eye, obviously it's kind of exaggerated, but I think a lot of people have kind of a professional persona. Mm-hmm. , you know, certainly I don't when I go into the medical field Yeah. You know, I'm pretty serious. Mm-hmm. people maybe don't know that I have an actual sense of humor or have other interests outside of being a doctor. Mm-hmm. . And you are describing kind of similar positive feedback that you get from being maybe a little goofy mm-hmm. And being the entertainer and making people laugh. Yeah. and I think sometimes it can be hard because you're, you, we do get rewarded for things that we're good at mm-hmm. and for being the way other people kind of want and need us to be. Mm-hmm. I'll, I'll get recognized sometimes and people be confused as to, like, I've had people ask me if I'm okay because in my videos I'm like very loud and excitable and stuff. And so people would be like, are you okay right now? And I'm like, yeah, I'm just not yelling . Like I'm just being a normal person. and so I think, I think that can be weird for people sometimes where they're like, oh yeah, you are a normal person. You're not just gonna be screaming and yelling all the time and being goofy. You can have different emotions rather than just being at like a 10 all the time. Which is a funny expectation that we have for people who are either in the public eye and or are artists of some sort that we feel like they, we we need them to be what we need them to be. Mm-hmm. all the time. But we would never expect that of ourselves. Yeah. I mean, we, we give ourselves permission to be whole human beings. And yet if we're seeing somebody on YouTube or maybe we see our favorite artist out and about and we're thinking, well, she always paints such sunny and cheerful pieces, why is she sad? Mm-hmm. . Like, it's, it's a, it's an interesting contrast for me. Yeah. I think that that's something that's really important and something that I think should be talked about more because especially with the way that social media is, is everything is a bit more personal. and I think that there's been a lot of, there's been a lot of weird stuff with parasocial relationships with being on the internet because I think you know, before with, I don't like consider myself like a celebrity, but like with an actor, you're seeing them play a role in whatever. And so there's this idea of them in your head, but then with someone making content on the internet, you're seeing them like almost every day. And so you start to have that thing of like, oh, I feel like I really know this person. I feel like we're sort of like friends. And I think that people forget sometimes that like, while I'm not like disingenuine in my videos, I am choosing to give you a certain version of myself. And so it's like, you know, the version that I am willing to show you, but you don't know me as a whole person. Like, you, you don't actually know me. And so there's been a lot of times over the past like 10 years where like a lot of boundaries with my community have, have been crossed and stuff like that. And yeah. I just think it's something that people forget sometimes where it's like, okay, the person that I'm seeing on the internet, I'm seeing the version of them that they want me to see. Like, I do like them, I like their content, but it's also important to remember that I don't actually know them and like, I'm not actually like their friend. 'cause I think that that can get sort of dangerous as well, even for the person on the other side being like idolizing that person. I think it can get a little a little dangerous sometimes. Yeah. I, I would agree. And I also, it, it feels a little unfair because we'll often hear, well that person chose to be a public figure. Mm-hmm. , that person chose to, I don't know, let's just say run for president mm-hmm. , in which case that they're now accepting that we're now gonna scrutinize mm-hmm. every aspect of their life. Yeah. But I don't know that any person ever fully knows what they're signing up for when they become a public figure. Yeah. No, there was definitely a lot of stuff that I didn't know came with this. I came with this deal and it's part of it, and so I have to figure it out and deal with it and stuff. But there's, yeah, there's a lot of stuff where I'm like, oh, didn't know that that was part of this. So explore, I think one of the biggest things is like the sort of there's a lot of guilt that can come along with, with doing this. again, like I constantly have that pressure of like, okay, I need to be putting stuff out all the time, or I need to be even just posting all the time so people can interact with stuff. but I think the biggest thing of guilt that I've dealt with is like, I feel extremely lucky to have the platform that I have in the audience that I have. but at the same time I feel this sort of guilt because I, in my brain, I'll never be able to like pay them back for what they've given me because I have my dream job and like everything that I wanted since I started doing YouTube, like it's just my reality now. But at the same time I'm like, okay, I have to repay them in some way and I'll never be able to to do that. and so that's, that's a very big thing that I've struggled with once I sort of found success on the platform is like, oh no. Like I have to give everyone everything back, but I will never be able to do that. That's really interesting. Hmm. I don't think I've ever heard anybody say that. Yeah. I don't know if it's I don't think it's a good thing necessarily, but it's definitely some feelings that I struggle with where it's like, I always owe, I will always owe my audience something. Well, it's the opposite of entitled I would say, right? Mm-hmm. where you feel like you kind of deserved all this stuff. Yeah. And that's, that's one extreme that's also not very healthy. Mm-hmm. it seems for Sure. Yeah. Dr. Lis