For the Love of Family and Food: North43 Restaurant Founder and Owner Stephanie Brown

I have with me chef owner of north 43, she also happens to be a friend of mine, Stephanie Brown. And I would say she's a co-owner of this business. And I'm one that she's put a lot of time and effort into. Is that true? Yes. Thank you so much for having me. And I'm so excited to be here. I do on the business with Laura Judas, my business partner, who also owns old port sea grill. So we have taken this journey together. This is A journey you've been on for quite a while, as a chef, as someone in the, in the, in the field, as we say So well over 30 years at this point, yes, I've been culinarily involved up until, um, high school. I've been in jobs that involve food in some way, shape or form, and obviously being a part of a large Italian family at birth you're part of food and celebration. So that's where the love interest came. Where'd you grow up? I grew up in Massachusetts. I was raised in a town called Westford and I then moved to the city of Boston and started my career right out of culinary school from there and had traveled to California and worked in Colorado and, uh, traveled in overseas, not to work, but to explore culinary adventures as well. So Talk to me this large Italian family. I come from a large, uh, Irish Catholic French family. So not exactly the same neck of the woods, but close, Very close. Yes, food is the heart of the family. Um, my mother was born in the north end and Avastin and, you know, an a four story walk-up and my grandfather had the swing sets on the roof and, you know, the preserves of vegetables and fruit in the stairwell. And every Sunday, the pasta would be laid out on the master bedroom on a sheet to dry for Sunday supper. My grandmother would lower the basket down the window for my mother to get bread at the local bakery. So with a little money in it. So it was definitely an iconic time for them. And when they moved out of the city and the grandchildren came even before then so much celebration around food, my grandfather was ahead of his time and had a beautiful, uh, professional grill installed in the basement of his home. And as a kid, I just thought it was normal to have grilled lamb chops in the dead of winter. So it's just been a huge part of our family for celebration and for everything. How did your parents meet? My dad went to, uh, Christopher Columbus high school and they met in the north end. And You and I also happen to have, um, an island connection out here. You live on cousins. I live on little John island and your family has a house across the street from ours. Yes. So I've been coming out to little John since I was two years old. So we have a very strong, main connection. And when I wanted to open my first restaurant, for whatever reason, I said it has to be in Yarmouth, Maine, because I knew if I opened in, I would never be able to get away for the summer. And I felt like if I was working in Maine, I'd be able to at least enjoy family in summer while I was working. And that was the connection of me opening seagrass bistro in 2005. And that Was how you and I originally met. I believe back years ago, many years ago, we had a mutual friend and acquaintance, and she learned that my daughter was interested in cooking. And she said, I have this great friend and maybe we should connect them. And, and that is actually when you and Abby first got to know one another. Abby was actually kind of helping me with the pups, uh, for a little bit while I was transitioning and moving out here. And we just had one of those heart to heart talks and her passion for food came through. And I said, why don't you come try it? And lo and behold, here she is three years later and just doing a phenomenal job and has worked herself up to the ranks. And she's now our sous chef and leading the team brightly with amazing creations. So she's very, very talented and we're so excited to have her to be a part of the team. I Am very glad that, uh, Abby is working with you. And I honestly couldn't think of someone that, uh, would be a better fit because you're probably one of the hardest working people. I know you, you, you put your heart and soul into things and you just, you work a lot. I Do. I'm a very hard worker, uh, but I'm very passionate. I feel that I can't ask of someone else if I'm not willing to do myself. Um, I take pride in everything that happens at work. So therefore I really want to make sure that I'm there for the customer or the employee, whatever, um, on the whole to represent and be a support system. But I come to work with a small ego because I allow my team to culinarily create. I'm not intimidated by what they bring to the table or something new. And I don't feel they need to cook what I want them to cook. I feel it's an amazing collaboration of creativity and artistry. And why would I stifle somebody when I know that they can create, you Also have formal training as a chef. You, you learn from you learned sort of from a practical standpoint, but you also had, um, the information that you needed to get into this in a really professional way. Yes. I have a bachelor's degree in business finance and business human resources, and then I had taken a year off. And then I went to culinary school at the culinary Institute of America for an associates degree. And so learned my, um, culinary professional training there, and then proceeded to dive into the hotel scene and worked with a lot of European chefs, um, at five star five diamond properties. So the squeeze bottle, tweezer pedal flowers, microgreens sauces, and, you know, extravagant proteins that, you know, had their views beautiful luxury of learning was in that arena and did it for many, many years, and then pulled myself out to be in front of the house. So I knew I wanted to open a restaurant someday and we're to another amazing property and became the assistant director of catering sales and learned how to book events. So fortunately for me, that's all come into play here at this new restaurant because we have a second level that we use to do that. So I can anticipate what the guests needs and execute these events from a sales perspective, as well as a culinary. And it's a nice package to have in your repertoire that I think some chefs don't have that exposure to because of they start out in small restaurants and they just Excel in the small restaurant arena. And when you have that event background, it does kind of change things a little bit. It has Been very important for you to branch out in different directions, uh, in order to maintain a position of strength through COVID. Absolutely. You have to very much think outside of the box and try to navigate a plan of attack to be creative in generating a revenue, keeping your team alive, because that's the most important thing right now is keeping the team that you have and sustaining that through all these ups and downs. So right now I'm in the process of planning the winter and planning the fall and looking at types of events that we can do to navigate that so that we can sustain ourselves, um, through these challenging times that lie ahead with the next round of whatever might happen. It's been Interesting, um, and bumpy and long, much longer road than most of us had thought. It definitely Has. Um, my business partner and I say all the time, this is the hardest we've ever had to work in a sense that we're dealing with so much more emotional than we are dealing with business practical and culinary. Um, we have shifted gears in the way we perceive our business and the customer is very important to us, but our emotional and mental wellbeing of our team is priority every single day. And there's always dialogue and conversations around nurturing that because the, the climate of the demographic of people that are dining has changed and the demands have changed. And we want to make sure that everybody is taken care of through these challenging times In your you're In an interesting intersection, because when people come to see you, they're probably feeling like they've been somehow stuck in their houses for a while. They really want a celebration. They want to go back to a normal life. Um, and their expectations are probably fairly high. And you're dealing with people who have worked through a big chunk of this, also worked through the summer months, um, also have their own personal and emotional needs. And, uh, they've done a great job. And also, you know, you're, you have fewer staff than you might want. You're dealing with a lot of different things. So how do you meet the high expectations of people who are coming into the restaurant with people who are, who have really put a lot of, um, time and effort into staying emotionally? Well-balanced, It's all about balancing? Um, the first thing I learned, I've always been a big component of this in general, to manage my business, but more so now this year than any year is the word no, and no, meaning this is the cap we're going to do tonight for business. We're not gonna take any more. This is what I know the team can handle. This is what we can do to make sure every person that walks through the door can get the best experience that they have and not over push ourselves, just because it's there. That doesn't mean it's, it should be taken. Um, it's a global decision on the wellbeing of the servers, the culinary team, the amount of food that we have and the overall guest experience, even with all that cautionary action that's taken, that doesn't mean someone's not gonna walk away with a bad experience or a mistake that might've happened. Um, we found that a lot of feedback that comes back online is things that are we're. So not that they're unimportant to the customer, but they're more remedial on the global acts of our staff, talking about the music that's playing, isn't the greatest or talking about, you know, an event that was upstairs. It was a celebration that was, you know, how could they do that? So how about how was the food, or how was your server, uh, those things, um, that to me are a little bit more important. So you really have to create a balance for as a leader to navigate what is important, what you want to absorb, what you want to take seriously, and your attitude coming in to the team and making sure we've got this, we're going to be amazing. You really have to have that mantra that you appreciate and value everybody, but also give them a voice. And this is the first time I actually had to articulate. You all have a voice, not that they didn't before, but I think this year, especially, they need to know that they do. So In, in giving them a voice, what types of things have you been hearing? It could be anything it could be, um, I'm really tired today, or this customer just rattled my cage today, or, um, I'm feeling stressed. Cause I don't think I have enough product or I need help with that. I need help with execution, um, all these different things that will affect somebody's psyche in the, in the fluidity of the day, they have to have that. They have to be able to articulate how they're feeling more so now than ever before. So that there's that support system to say, I got this, we got it. We're going to be fine. Oh, you know what? We're troubled with that. Let's take it off our plate. We're not going to do it. Let's eliminate it. And all of a sudden you have that aha moment. It's interesting because even though, um, you and I work in very different fields in many ways, they're quite similar. Even healthcare is very patient driven and there's often, um, especially during COVID, there have been a lot of situations where people coming our office, they're very stressed. We have staff, that's very stressed. Um, we get patient complaints about things like I don't like the fact that your parking lot doesn't have enough sand on the sidewalk, you know, there's like, and you just think to yourself, wow, we're, we're really doing the best we can to keep everybody healthy here. And, um, we really do want to do what's best for everybody. And sometimes we're not going to be able to make everybody happy all the time. It's definitely a tough pill to swallow because that's what you're in business for is to make everybody happy. And to say, we know what today might be the day. We're not going to make everybody happy, has nothing to do with how hard you're working and what foot, best foot that you're putting forward. It's just the reality. And we really have to be selective of how much we hold on to and how much we don't hold onto to carry us through this. And I'm really good about articulating, let that go. I'm not worried about it. Let that go. You're amazing. You're doing a great job. Let that go. So we had a customer that wrote on the back of their receipt about their server and it said some not nice things. And the server was devastated. And I said, well, I'm not worried about that. I said, that was a very cowardly. They had an opportunity all through dinner to have a common or a conversation with you when you checked in with them. And here we are. And now you're left holding the bag, said your amazing work. Great. Did you have an issue maybe, but no reason to take that to heart because I think that's pretty cowardly and that's unfair to you. So let's look at the big picture and you had a great day and we have to let that go and I don't condone the behavior. And I think they appreciate that permission. Yeah. And I think that you're, you're absolutely right. Sometimes there are things that are going on with people, um, that you couldn't possibly fathom. You know, we have this in our profession and healthcare, you know, people come in and we think we're just talking about their, their, let's say their hypertension, their high blood pressure. And what's really going on. What's really causing their blood pressure to go up is that their aunt died. Their cat is sick. You know, there's just a lot happening. And sometimes before they even get to me as a physician, they're already having challenges with our staff because of how something that the staff person said to them made them feel bad. There was something that just didn't sit. Right. Um, and it's often good to kind of go back and think, well, you know what, it's not something to take personally, because if somebody's cat is sick or their on died, you know, that's, that's not on you. That's not something you can do anything about. All you can do is just kind of try to be as open and understanding as possible and not take things personally and not escalate them into something that they really don't need to be, um, escalated into, I guess. And I think that I have learned so much this year, just really putting an effort, working really hard to put myself on a perch, to put everything in front of me so you can see it versus being in it and not being able to see it, if that makes sense so that you can navigate where everybody's at and get a backstory or what is going on, or hear the chatter of the staff of something going on, whether it's somebody coming to visit, or they just went traveling to, you know, at a lake in Maine and now they're tired or whatever the story is. And then use that to say, okay, oh my gosh, you did one, you come in late tomorrow because I think that would be helpful. And using that, that's what I mean by having that voice. If we hear these stories of what's going on in their personal life, we can help navigate the work-life a little bit better and give that balance of, okay, yes, you get to leave early today or want, you know, and have that support system for each other. And the more we talk about where we are in our personal life, not in depth, but just saying where we might be struggling, we can help make the work life a little bit easier and less stressful because they were all there to help each other support that situation. And it's nice to have that dialogue. And some of the servers especially have come to me and said, I've never been in a place where I was allowed to have a voice to talk about how I feel about money or whatever it is, scheduling or whatever. And I said, why you need money to live? It's a very healthy thing to talk about. And if that's going to stress you out during the day and you're holding it in, what fun is that? I'm not saying that all the answers are going to be yes, but it's great to have a conversation about it and meet in the middle. And it's amazing how articulated the team has become in that arena, which is really nice. I think that you And your field more than perhaps other fields, I mean, you, you kind of have to do that in order to succeed. Um, because there's such a blur between work and life. I mean, there's just, especially in the summertime in Maine, people work all the time. So there's, you know, you have to be able to make work good because that is your life in the summer in Maine and hospitality, You have to be really have to put forth this level of balance. And I try to strive that there are times where we're all going to need to work extra hard this particular week or this particular weekend or whatever it is. But that doesn't mean it's the mantra for all the time. And it is a piece that unfortunately, because we are struggling with labor so much, that it's a really hard balance to create when you, you're trying to push, push, push, because you have a small window of opportunity to capture the, the financials of the summer. Some of it's not worth it. And you have to be able to say, what is worth it? Where's this strength lie, where am I going to be? What risks am I willing to take? How far am I willing to push the team? And sometimes it's a collaborative effort and you put it out there and you see where we all are and you rally everybody up and they're in on it and we're going to do it. It's going to be amazing. But then you also gauge, and you can see where we are and you're like, you know what? We're good, but we're good. Nope. I'm okay. I know I need to stop that, that piece of business as much as I'd love it, isn't going to be good for the health and the wellbeing of the team. And you have to look at it that way. Um, it's a new way of thinking. I think it's really hard for us as restaurant owners. We're up against so much with capacity shortages of food, shortages of labor, people saying that people don't get paid enough in the industry. There's so much around there outside of work. That's getting fed into everybody's ears for this minutia that you already coming to work, feeling very suffocated and to kind of let all that go and show that you're valued, supported, and financially taken care of is a big deal. Well, it's interesting because we started this conversation talking about, um, why you got into this and kind of food is life. And the idea of having the pasta drying on the racks and the family home. And, and I, I do think that you're describing something that is the more nitty gritty daily life aspect of things. And also, um, as part of the work that you do, you've been able to do a lot of celebrations. You've been able to, you know, there's always that day to day stuff that we all kind of slog through get to the other side. Um, but you do weddings. You do, you know, retirement parties, you go to events and you really make things special. You really, um, with the work that you do at north 43, you're able to enable people to take a step back and say, okay, this is good. Life actually is really good. We have things to celebrate. And we were going to have a glass of wine and an appetizer and talk with our sister that we haven't seen in a long time. Um, I would think that would feel pretty special. Absolutely. I mean, I always tell the client, you know, you're going to look back on this day and this is the restaurant that's going to be in the memory bank. We celebrated mom's ex birthday, or we had our wedding here, rehearsal dinner there, or whatever it is, we've had the journey of the good and the bad with people. So celebrating their joyous moments and celebrating their sad moments and having them come back to us because they found comfort with us that they can have a celebration of life with us. And how intimate is that? Um, it's pretty special. And I don't think about those things after really. I just, in the moment when I'm talking to the client, I just know that that's supposed to be really important and special, and I want it to go down being that way. And my staff takes exceptional pride and doing these events as well and being a part of them. And it also shakes it up for them because instead of going to the five or 10 customers, they might have in the hour, they have this amazing group of people that are there to celebrate and be joyous. And it shakes that, you know, mundane serving thing up a little bit and to something a little different. And so it's nice to have that variety. Absolutely. And I get great pride in doing that. Um, and I have a great skill set to do it, to use the space that is so beautiful. It makes it very easy to make that happen. You're located literally right on the water. Like you, you could, you could throw a rock and hit, hit the water in south Portland. I mean, that is a great location. We're Very fortunate to have such an amazing location and to be a part of this amazing arena. And, you know, the Susi family who owns the building, which we lease from could not be more supportive of who we are and what we trying to do. And we have such an amazing clientele of regulars that love coming in and when you know their name and we know what they like, and it's just, it's it's family. And we have had the fortunate capacity to be at a personal level with some of these people, whether it is with the celebration of a wedding and engagement, a birthday, a tragedy we've extended our selves into that level. And it becomes really intimate and we really enjoy it. And this, the staff enjoy seeing these people too, because it's so personal. And north 43, the name itself actually references your location, correct. Our coordinates, which is wonderful. So it was a tough to decide what kind of a name to put, because we didn't want to say that we were a seafood restaurant on the water. We have all different types of cuisine. So we thought we'd find something neutral. And, um, my business partner's husband actually came up with the name. So we were like, yep, we're in, it's done something to check off our list that we liked. So it was great. This is One of the things that my husband and I really enjoy doing more kind of pre COVID. We haven't done it as much lately, but that is hop on our boat from little John island, um, kind of jaunt out across the ocean, through Casco bay Landover at the marina, and then go and have lunch on your deck. I mean, it's very special. There just aren't that many places that you can do that in the state of Maine or really anywhere. It's really quite lovely that we have that the sushi's have been very generous about allowing boats to come to dock, to dine with us and finding spots for the boats to stay, you know, free of charge. And they make it very convenient for a lunch or a dinner. And we've been fortunate enough to be on a lot of destinations of people's daytime or evening plans by boat. And it's, you can just see how much fun they're having when they're walking up the dock and they're getting ready to come in. And it's, it's fun. We really enjoy having that. I was Also fortunate enough to, um, bring our wedding ferry, um, over to the marina. Cause I, we got married and we had our celebration, my husband and I actually we're about at our anniversary a few years ago, it's coming up. Um, and then we all in our wedding attire walk down the dock and went over to north 43 and we actually had the most wonderful wedding reception. So, I mean, there's something pretty unforgettable about that. Thank you. It was a very special day. That was a very, very special day for the staff and myself included to be a part of that. And it's a lovely place to have those types of celebrations. And, um, you know, I always tell people when they book their event, that I put the good weather order in already for them. So to hold off the rain and it's, you know, we have a wedding coming up tomorrow and I've been on the phone with the mother of the bride all week and it's, she's just overjoyed. She just can't wait. It's just like talking to a child at Christmas. They just get so excited and so much has been taken care of for them that they have very little worry when they walk through the doors that we've put the list together and checked all the things off. So there's nothing, there's no stone left unturned and they can enjoy and be present. And that's our most important thing that we try to sell. When you have something like that is for you to be present. One of the things that I, um, that I think about a lot is when my husband and I got married, uh, our family had just gone through something pretty significant, something pretty devastating, and it was hard to, um, for, for he and I to kind of, I mean, we knew we loved each other. We knew that we wanted to get married, but it was hard to kind of climb out of our, our sadness and our devastation and the tragedy of the moment and really put together this celebration. And, um, you were like, no, we're going to make this happen. You know, we're, we're going to do this and we're going to do it and it's going to be great. And it, it took a lot because I remember sitting in, um, conversations with you and with my husband and just almost being unable to talk because like just comatose with sadness and, um, I so appreciated your willingness to kind of, to make it balanced and good and sell it and celebratory, and you kind of took care of it and you brought us all to this great level and, and, and you, you would just not, you're not going to let us have a bad wedding. You're not going to let that happen. And I think that, that for me, just, I go back to that summer and, um, those challenges, and I think, you know, that is kind of the epitome of, of what I appreciate about what you do and what you do in hospitality that is just making something really beautiful out of something that could potentially go in a really different direction. Well, I'm just a firm believer that, you know, we were all on a journey. We all have our roads and every road has, you know, either a bump or a pothole or a crater, but there's a road on the other side. And these craters bumps and potholes don't define who we are. It's just a moment in time and should not omit life is too short to him at the celebrations and the acknowledgement of family and love. And, you know, the fact that we have a capacity to gather, we're very fortunate to be one in this state, but also just in this country and have that luxury. And if we can use food as a vehicle to enhance the gathering, that's great. And if it gives us an opportunity, when you walk through the doors of the restaurant to put all that other stuff aside, just for that moment, even, or moving forward on your journey, great, that's what it's about. And I just believe it's such a, an important thing. And I look at it as I've had challenges in my life and I've had my shares of potholes and craters, and I would treat it that I want somebody, I treat the people that I want, how I would want to be taken care of and nurtured and comforted and allowed to just be, because then it brings you, like you said, to that point of gathering and saying, you know what? We sh we are, we are allowed to have this. This is okay. Let me celebrate what I have my family, my love, my friends, whatever it is. It's huge. So I appreciate you sharing that. Thank you. It's a big deal, a little tear to my eye. I know I Was, I was actually feeling quite emotional. Yeah. And it's, it's a hard thing. And it's a hard thing to have shared for me in particular, because I actually think I do have a very good life, you know? So sometimes they think when you have a very good life, it's hard to share the deep pain. And so you kind of will tuck it away and saying, no, no, I, you know, in my case, I work with patients and there are so many more terrible, terrible stories of things that have happened that I just it's. Sometimes it's easier to minimize what goes on. That is a huge deal, but is it as big a deal as somebody else's, I don't know, car accident cancer, or, you know, any of the other things, that's A big deal in our lives, what we're going through, it's a big deal to us and it's okay to acknowledge that it doesn't define us, but it's okay to take that moment. And I can say that, I can say, you know what, I'm, you know, uh, a chef of this amazing restaurant with a, uh, a business partner that has nothing but steadfast and strong to that, we, our relationship to navigate this and have a great team, but yeah, you know what? We don't have a dishwasher day and this really, really stinks. And okay, this customer got mad at that, and this is awful. And why can't we be like such and such restaurant. They're getting all these accolades and they're in the paper and the magazine and LA, you know, I could easily say that, but at the end of the day, that's just having a bad day, but I know how fortunate I am to have all these amazing things, but I've worked very hard for everything that I have, but it's okay to acknowledge the tough times, because if you don't, it's not healthy. And then the monster comes out. That's True. It's not like if you don't talk about it, things go away. They just kind of get stuck in some crevice somewhere. And then someday they just back out at checkout. You're like, who was that? Exactly. Exactly. Yeah. I thought it was over That. I guess I wasn't really Right. Going back to the dead answer, the cat, that's sick. It's that same thing for us, right? Yeah. And I think it's, you know, I'm, I'm proud of what I do and proud of who I am. I'm proud of how hard I work. I'm proud of my family and the support of my friends and the team that I have. And every day isn't going to be the same, uh, every day isn't going to be, you know, perfume and flowers. It's just not, but that doesn't mean it's, it's a bad journey. It just means it's exciting. And I have learned to really just try to come in with a great attitude and work hard. And that's my mantra. I think the Other similarity that you and I share is that we both are responsible for lots of people. So, you know, we both came from big families. We took care of our family members. We're still taking care of our family members, to some extent, take care of our staff. Um, you know, I take care of my patients. You take care of your customers. And sometimes it's easy to feel like, oh, this is just a lot of caretaking for everybody else with me. But I also know that you and I try to take care of ourselves, um, that we both enjoy where we live. We both go running around or walking around the islands where we are that, that self care and self preservation and appreciation of life are very important on a regular basis. Very much so it's, there are weeks that come by and I'll feel so exhausted, but it wasn't because of culinary work or physical labor. It was because of the mental and emotional work that went into the day or the week that can just fatigue me more because there's so many, as, you know, being a doctor, there's so much care that come