New England Artist Moves to Utah: Catching Up With Julia Blake on Radio Maine with Dr. Lisa Belisle

Today I have with me artist Julia Blake. Hello, Julia. How are you? Hello, Lisa. I'm great. It's good to be here. It's good to have you. I'm talking with you from my place in Maine, and you're all the way across the country in Utah, so that's kind of a special treat for me. That's right. You should come visit. It's beautiful. Yeah. I have never been to Utah and um, up until very recently you weren't living in Utah either, correct? That's right. We spent 20 years in New England and loved it. Um, because we could work from home, we decided to follow our adult children who came out here for school and stayed. So we're here at least for the next few, couple of years, but I hope to get back to New England soon. . And you went out to Utah because you have a little, a little grandbaby that you definitely needed to spend time with, correct? That's right. It, it's so fun. It's worth it. , But I also know that you love New England, so have you been able to kind of get what you needed out of the, the family aspect of things in that part of the world while you're kind of rebuilding your life? Yeah, I mean, I am no stranger to hop in on an airplane. It's a direct flight out there. And, um, I've been, I've been traveling to Utah all this time anyway, so now I'm kind of just traveling back the other way and I get, I get the reference photos I need. I'll do the plane air paintings that I need when I'm in New England. I always was influenced a little bit by Utah. Anyway, this is where I grew up and um, and there's just so much beauty here and, um, but I would say, you know, I got my painting start while I was in New England, so that's where the heaviest influence is. This piece behind me is one that, uh, I think you're quite well known for. You do, you've done a lot of work with poppies. I think it's, they've been very popular. Um, the last time you and I spoke, you had broadened your work out to, it was, um, I believe kind of a tree of life idea and a lot of work with trees. And the piece behind you now is, um, I'm assuming it's yours, but it's a very different version of Julia Blake. Yeah, you know, I started out, um, more representational and, um, but always metaphor. There was always metaphor in what I was painting. Um, the, I'm drawn to abstract for the challenge of it and, uh, for the freedom that it gives. Um, but I still love to do my loose trees and my loose landscapes and poppies. Um, the, the meaning is still there for, for me, my art is just all about exploring, but it's about learning and it's about, um, connecting. Um, the poppies are deeply meaningful to me, and so I'll always paint them. The trees are always gonna be painted because they mean something really important to me. So, So explore that deeper meaning of the poppies and the trees with me. Um, you know, yeah, I'd love to, The poppies for me are about rebirth after what seems like a death. Um, New England winters are very difficult for me. Um, and Utah winters aren't any better unless you're in the south part of the state. But here it's still difficult. Um, but I think what was hardest for me in, in New England was the darkness. Um, it would get dark in Boston at, you know, four o'clock, and it was, it was hard and it was course very cold. And, um, it's amazing to me when I first moved there, the things that would pop out of the ground that I didn't even know were there. We bought a house and, you know, poppies showed up after, you know, a long hard winter. And I, I was just delighted. And, um, it's just this metaphor that, that we, we all go through periods of, of winter periods where, you know, we're sad and, you know, things aren't going the way we want. We're, you know, cold and lonely or whatever, that the winter metaphor is huge. But, um, it's this reminder that there are surprises around the corner that there are delights just waiting for us. And sometimes we just have to endure hard things that we're going through. And there's always something around the corner that's gonna be bright and beautiful. And poppies, of course, have a meaning with remembrance of, of loved ones who've been lost, and especially soldiers, fallen soldiers. So I love that it ties into that, you know, life is about, you know, when we truly live, we love and we connect to things and people and nothing stays the same. We lose things that we love. And, um, and so we have to find ways to be happy and to, to keep going on and, and still remember the things that make us happy. The trees, that's a, that's a deeper meaning. Um, the tree, if you really wanna know, is the female deity to me that I believe in. I believe in a female deity. And, um, she is that tree. So extend that a little bit more. The, the female deity is as, as the tree. Um, it goes back to ancient times in Jewish tradition. Um, there was a female God Asra, who was represented by a tree. Um, I am a Mormon, I'm a member of the Church of Jesus Christ, of Latter Day Saints, and we believe in a female God. And, but yet we don't talk about this. We don't say much at all. In fact, it was kind of just like this little lip that was introduced early on in our faith and, um, maybe talked about a little bit here and there. But women like me are really yearning for it and hungry for it, and we're kind of exploring it on our own and, you know, worshiping her in the ways that we feel, um, feel drawn to. So yes, I believe that, um, that theres a, a female God, and she to me is our mother in heaven, just like I believe I have a father in heaven. So I've, I've now just learned something I, I hadn't realized, I, I realized that you have a strong faith tradition, but I hadn't realized that there was a female deity associated with that faith tradition. And it sounds like that that isn't something that is widely known. So is this something that you've started to explore more as time has gone along in your life? Yeah, I mean, I, you know, it's not something we've ever denied in our faith, but again, it wasn't something, it's not something that's emphasized. Um, it's not something that anyone feels like they really know anything about. And honestly, we don't really know anything about God either. You know, religion is, and faith is, is just that, it's faith, you know, I think it's, it's dangerous when you say, you know, something. So, um, I started exploring that, um, after attending a retreat of kind of liberal Mormon women that happened in New Hampshire about 10 years ago. And, and that's when I first heard this concept of, um, you know, the tree in Asra aspect of it. And, um, you know, there's a radical belief that, uh, that the Holy Ghost is our mother in heaven. And that is something that, that really resonated with me. And I heard that first at that conference and I thought, Wow, that's really cool. You know, there's, in most Christian faith, there's the Trinity, the Father, the Son, and the Holy Ghost, and this concept that, wow, the Holy Ghost is our mother and kind of acts as a womb for us. And you know, what the Holy Ghost does is comfort and teach and nurture and all of those things that, um, that are, you know, feminine characteristics naturally not, not to say that men don't do those things, but that was something very radical that I heard, you know, 10 years ago from a scholar within my faith, a female scholar within my faith. Um, she's received some pushback for that. And, and I think that's sad. Um, but it, that's something that really resonated with me, that like there is this concept that the, the Trinity and Mormons don't believe in a trinity. We believe in the Father, the Son and the Holy Ghost, but this concept that the Holy Ghost is kind of this, to me, the missing female, you know, missing female deity has a really important role. So as you're talking with me about this, does it make you feel in any way vulnerable because it's not something that is discussed, Um, it sounds like as openly within your, um, faith tradition? Not at all. Um, in fact, I think it should be discussed more. I'm not worried at all about, um, any kind of repercussions. I, um, my job at church right now is to sing with the, with the young kids that are, you know, age three to 11. And I often bring that into what I'm teaching just subtly. Um, and so far haven't gotten in trouble, and I'm certainly not concerned about, you know, it is a, it is something we believe that, that we believe in a mother in heaven. So, um, talking about it, no, I'm not worried about it. How if I were publishing a book as an expert, you know, maybe they would, you know, in fact they would probably say, Please don't do that, and then I'd have to really consider, you know, where, you know, probably would still publish this. But, um, it's, it's a tricky balance when you're in this, it's a large organization. It's a large corporation that's trying to, it's a global church, and they're trying to run something much larger than, than I'd say this intellectual side of it, you know, that my feminist friends and I, um, but to explore. So I have a lot of compassion for our church leaders and what they're trying to do. And, um, at the same time, I'm not afraid to speak out and I'm, I'm not afraid of what any consequences might be. Well, it sounds like you have a very balanced approach to all of this, that you're kind of, you're respectful and understanding of the, the, the greater aims of the church, but also you have your own way of looking at it that has been born out through other people's ways of looking at it over the decades. Centuries, I guess. Yeah, and I, I mean, our, our faith was founded on questions, asking questions and having doubts. And, and I think that's an important part of, of faith, and it's important part of life. You know, what, we need to question the things that we were taught and, and decide if they, if they actually sit with our own conscience. Well, I think that that's, that's very true and also can be very scary. I know in, in my faith tradition, which is Catholic, as I've identified before on the, um, podcast here, it's, there are many things about Fism that I have still value. And also I no longer am a practicing Catholic because I couldn't find a way to make it match up with some of my beliefs about, I think humanity, but feminism certainly. And so I, I think not everybody is able to sit in that kind of conflictual space that you're describing. And honestly, I give you a lot of credit for it because I think when you leave that aspect of yourself behind having made that difficult decision, there is still a loss. Oh, absolutely. And I, you know, my husband and I talk about it as in the fact that we all have to leave the Garden of Eden, um, where, where things were, you know, kind of tight and they made sense and they were wrapped up neatly. Um, my paintings are messy, even, you know, the poppies are messy, uh, intentionally, you know, life is not neat and tidy. Nothing is, relationships aren't, you know, learning isn't linear. Religion certainly isn't spirituality. It is different than religion and it's not, it's messy as well. You know, the human condition is not neat and tidy. And, um, I have experienced a loss, but it's like, it was a loss of innocence, I feel like. And I, I feel like in Mormonism, we're just a few years behind Catholicism where we can still identify as a Mormon, but, but just do it in our way, in a way that we feel is true to, um, our revelation from God. You know, we believe that God speaks to each one of us is our, we're children of God. And, um, but it's great. I have a, a lot of mentors and friends who are doing this within the church, um, and, and several who have left and are doing it from without. And, and that's, that's their choice as well. It, for me, it's a loss to our church too. It's, it furthers the loss that I feel of, of my own innocent faith. But, you know, that's, everyone has their journey and their path In your journey and your path. I believe you and I spoke, um, not too long ago about a pretty significant family, um, grieving that took place in, in the aftermath of a loss of one of your family members. And I'm wondering how you're doing with that now? Um, you know, it's like, there's, there's that old saying that time heals all wounds, which I think most of us recognize as a true, but you learn to, um, to move forward and to find a good, and, and yeah, I, I can say I'm doing, I'm doing really well. Um, I've done a lot of work. I've done a lot of work to heal and, um, but yeah, my family's doing well, I'm doing well, so thank you. And your art, I think at the time was a source of healing for you and a source of working through that, that difficult period. Absolutely. My art has always been a healing, a way for me to process things, a way for me to explore, um, my experiences and in a really tangible way, in a way that, um, just almost felt visceral. And, um, and I've always used my art as a way to, to seek joy. And, and I, and it's done that for me, it really has. I feel like what I did, I don't feel like my art needed to explore the darkness and the sadness that was what I was trying to, to move paths or to, you know, to deemphasize, you know, that's always, there's always gonna be darkness and sadness. Um, that's life. I mean, there's a, there's a scripture within our faith that you know about opposition, that it's, we're meant to have opposition. That's how we grow. Um, but I, you know, I wanna enjoy more of the, the good things in life. And so my, my art has always explored that and helped me to heal and helped me to focus on, um, what I wanted to feel and, and, and how I wanted to live. An important part of your last couple of decades, I guess, plus has been the role of parent, and you have, I think most of your children at this point are adult or close to adult. Is that true? I do have two still at home, two teenagers, a 14 year old and a 16 year old. But yes, my oldest is 28 years old, so I've been parenting for a long time. I have six children and, um, that has consumed my life. But painting is a gift litter. I, I genuinely feel that it was a gift from, from God to give me something besides mothering. And I need that so much. And my kids are so thankful I have that. They may have been a little miff at first, especially when I had all six kids at home and the only place I could paint was the kitchen. And, um, you know, my oldest came home the day before Thanksgiving when he was a senior in high school, and he looked around and saw my paintings all over the kitchen and, and scoffed and said, What are we going to eat your paintings for Thanksgiving dinner? And, um, you know, but fast forward, I think he's really glad that I have painting now, so that I'm not, you know, trying to have him fulfill my, the, you know, the needs that I have in my life. I have something besides children to keep me happy cuz he's living his life and, um, kids leave and all of a sudden, what am I doing with my life? Where's my purpose? Where's my meaning? They don't need me anymore. And they're not a significant part of my daily routine, weekly routine, sometimes even monthly routine. And I have art now that fulfills me, that I actually get to, you know, run it all. They don't it, my art doesn't, When it talks back, it talks back in much more friendly way than my children do. My art responds more, um, more, more positively than my children do. Um, my art is mine and my children aren't, you know, my children aren't mine, but my art is, and I need that because it's been, it's been my identity. You know, I didn't want motherhood to be my, my identity and it couldn't be, I needed to have something that, that was me. I, I remember being in that phase because like you, my children are all, um, on the other side of being in my house except my college age daughter and she still comes home. But, um, I remember being at that stage and realizing that I had invested so much in, in the role of mother and of parent in addition to my professional role in medicine, that, that it, it was as if something newly creative could reawaken because now, now, you know, at least there's the, there's a little bit more space, there's a little bit more time. And I never regretted putting the time and effort into being a mother and a parent, but I also really enjoyed having the space to just re-explore what it meant to be my own self as a human being. Yeah. And it's healthy for our children to see that, you know, especially our daughters, but you know, our sons as well. It's, it's healthy for them to see us as, as a whole human being with, with diverse interests and talents and yeah, it's good. I think one of my favorite quotes from Calibra is our children are not our children. Um, and I think that that is the sense that yes, you give birth to them, you bring them into the world, but they are themselves. So ultimately whatever it is that you've given them kind of genetically and, you know, biologically and then culturally, and I think ultimately they're going to end up being who they are. And, and that's healthy. That's what, that's what should happen. There is a separation that occurs and, um, and I'm not sure that we always think of that when we're young parents and when we're young mothers and, and, and just realizing that this investment is, is just gonna be what it is, you know, whatever it is you, you put into it, it's your decision and they're gonna take with it what they do. Absolutely. And I like to joke with people that I don't wanna take the blame for anything my children do, and I also am not gonna take the credit for anything that they do. You know, I've done my best, but they are living their lives and, and that's how it Is. Yes, that's good. How About, But you have to take full blame and credit for my art though. So that's what , that's what's great is that, you know, if it's bad, I gotta work on it and I can't, can't lay that on anyone but me. Well, so tell me about that. Tell me about, you know, as we kind of mentioned earlier, you've, you've have poppies, you have the abstract work, we you have the, the work on trees that you've done. So how, how is it for you to have kind of a, a self-critical eye? What, when you, you're sitting looking at your own pieces, what are you looking for that you might wanna change? Or what makes you think, Oh, this is, this is exactly what I want it to look like. What, what are the types of things that come into consideration for you? Well, I mean, academically, you know, I'll look at the contrast and I'll look at the where the eye goes and I'll look at, you know, just how overall the aesthetic is. But, um, I think more importantly, I like to look for something that's new and interesting and exciting. And that's the challenge is to paint in a fearless way. Um, it's, it's really easy to get comfortable and to just keep doing the same things that, that I've done over and over again, and the things that are well received by, by clients. Um, but I do get bored with that and I want to, and, and, and I do still enjoy that those concepts and those things are still, um, important and they're still, um, valid to me. But there are times when I need to play and I need to do something unexpected, something I haven't done before. And it is really hard. My critical eye, I, I mean, just some of the practical things I do, I'll, I'll turn the painting backwards for a couple of weeks and come back and, and then look at it with a fresh eye that helps me to see what's good and, and what's not so good, what's working and what isn't. Another thing I'll do is I'll, I'll take a photo of the painting and for whatever reason, taking a photo of it and looking at it on a screen helps me see things that I didn't notice, you know, when the canvas is right in front of me. And so that helps me, you know, to, to fix, you know, is areas that don't look quite right. And so those are just some of the practical things I think that's really, that's really interesting. So you physically turn a painting away from you so that you just, it's out of your line of sight and you're not even gonna worry about it anymore. Yep. It needs, it needs a resting period so that I can come back and just have a, have fresh eyes on it. So that's similar to, you know, as a writer, kind of ticking your manuscript and putting it in a drawer and and picking it back up again after some period of time. Yes. Yeah. And then this other idea of actually taking a closer look. So there's the turning it away from you and not looking at all, but then there's, you know, changing your perspective by taking a photograph of it and looking more closely. So those, it almost seems like those are dialogical opposed to one another as far as their approach is concerned. Yeah, and that's, um, I think that's important too, cuz it's, it comes at it a different ways. The other thing I'll do with the photograph is turn it black and white, so then you see just value and that helps you, you know, to improve a composition and then, you know, overall aesthetic of it. So are these techniques that you're describing for reevaluation, are these ones that were shared with you by people with whom you've studied? Were these things you picked up on your own? How did you come to this place? Um, I think that, yeah, it was a mentor, Kirk Richards who told me about, you know, early on when I, I flew him out to New England, he was an artist I loved, and so I wanted to learn from him. And so myself and a friend flew him out to new, to do a workshop 10 years ago when I was first starting. And yeah, he, I think he was the one that told me about turning it backwards and coming back later, a different artist mentor, um, Rose Day Talk Doll was the one who, I believe she was the one who told, talked to me about taking a photo of it. Um, and, and I think it was an art class at RISD that I took where it was the, you know, looking at it in black and white, but I had already been taking photos of it. But, you know, I learned a lot, you know, I went, I went back to Rdy, um, and I was pre-med in college and had no intention of painting. It just kind of fell into my lap. But I did, you know, I was suffering with imposter syndrome, so I thought, you know, I should go to SDY and, you know, get some credentials so I can really feel like I'm a painter. And I took, I took some really great classes, you know, just foundational classes that helped me a lot. And I think that was, that was where I first even learned the vocabulary of value in painting, you know, in the painting. I didn't know what that meant. And so I think it was then that I recognized, you know, we're seeing it in black and white is really important. I I think you're describing something that many people feel when it comes to art and maybe not artists, although I think some artists also feel this, this i, this idea of being an imposter, this idea that you need a certain credential or that you need a certain level of knowledge. Um, and, and actually the vocabulary that you're describing also being very important. Sometimes just having a few words gives you entry into this new country, so to speak. So definitely in your case though, if I'm remembering correctly, you actually had early success with your poppies. My, I'm, I'm, I believe that you were kind of pleasantly surprised at how popular, um, these pieces were and how quickly they resonated with people. Yeah, I was stunned. Like I, I didn't seek out to be a professional artist at all. Um, and it was actually a, it was a grove piece that sold first. It was a painting that I did of just a group of trees in early, early spring, and it was very abstracted. Um, it's honestly one of my favorite pieces, and thankfully the person who bought it is someone that is a good friend of mine. So I do get to see the painting when I want to. Um, she was a neighbor of mine in Wellesley, and then she actually moved out to Utah a couple years before me. Were good friends. But, um, yeah, that was the first painting I bought. I was like, Wow, people are gonna pay me for, for doing something so fun. And, um, and that was right when Instagram was pretty new. And so I just started putting paintings on Instagram and they would sell. And before I knew it, I had sold paintings in 25 states and, you know, and I, I think I'm in four countries right now. It was, it was unbelievable. It just happened like almost effortlessly for me. It's, it was a fun time to be an emerging artist. And so how did that feed into the next stage of your career? If you have some early success as an emerging artist, does that momentum continue? Does that, uh, change the way that you approach things as you continue to evolve? You know, I mean, I think about the, the quote from Mattis, and this isn't gonna be exactly right, but he, he just made some comment about how once he was successful, it, it made it really hard after that. Like there was an expectation. Um, I think it definitely has not been linear for me to have a career as an artist. I don't enjoy marketing myself. I don't enjoy, you know, that, that Instagram time was a, was a sweet time, but it didn't stay. The algorithms change and, and it's a lot of work to keep up with, with those social media accounts. I've tried to varying degrees of success, but never with any longevity to hire people to do those things for me. And, and I lose interest. And, you know, thankfully I found Portland Art Gallery because you do all that work for me that I don't want to do. And, um, and so that has been wonderful. I, you know, you want more work for me than I'm currently producing, which is kind of a, you know, it's, I'm trying my hardest, you know, move. The move has certainly disrupted some of that. But having a gallery do that for me has been great. And so that, that takes the pressure off of me. I don't have to do, you know, the mundane things that I don't enjoy. Some artists enjoy that I don't. Um, but having early success definitely does, um, play into my expectations. Um, but I'm overall thrilled and ecstatic with where I am right now, considering where I started and also considering that I didn't even seek this out to begin with. I, I feel immensely, immensely lucky to be where I am, to have had this 10 years of, of joy and exploration and success with some failures and with plenty of rejection. You know, there's no way you can be an artist without rejection. The beautiful thing is that, um, you know, I don't, I don't have to sit at art fairs or art shows anymore, you know, with my paintings behind me, you know, watching people walk by and not buy my work that I never enjoyed that. And now I don't have to know who came into the gallery and didn't see my work or didn't stay and wanna buy my work. I, I prefer not to, you know, not to experience that. I love, I love just creating and, and, um, putting it out there. Now I do miss meeting my collectors and knowing, you know, what they love about a painting. And sometimes I'll get a, a note from someone with, and you know, sometimes I'll send an email with a photo of where the painting is. And I do love that. I really love, um, connecting with, with, um, collectors. But I absolutely don't miss the, all of the aspects of, um, the small business that fall on fell on my shoulders initially. I will tell you that my mother actually saw your, uh, one of your pieces in an email. And my mother, uh, like you was actually pre-med. She ended up becoming a science teacher, not an artist. Um, but the, the, she doesn't always say, Oh, I really like this piece. I really like this piece. She always listens to the podcast, so she will absolutely be listening now, but she saw one of your pieces in an email and she actually pointed it out to me. She, she got back to me about it. And so we ended up giving it to her for Mother's Day. So that's, that's a kind of from one mother to another to another. Um, there's the story of one of your little pieces of Julia's poppies, so you can have that for your, you can have that moving. That makes me so happy. Thank you. Well, my mother also, what's that? And it said hello to Your mother. Yes, hello Mother Mary. And she's the, she's actually, she's the mother of 10 children and she has now 24 grandchildren. So she, I I think there's a lot of ways in which she will probably, uh, resonate with your words as well as your art. So I guess the one final question I have for you is it, at what point did you stop feeling like an imposter? You know, I just woke up one day and gave myself permission to say I'm an artist. And it, it's just, it was like a simple, um, simple little switch in my mind. But let me tell you, there are days when I am in that studio and I'm afraid, I'm afraid that what I paint isn't gonna be good. And I'm afraid that even though I've done hundreds of paintings that I'm really happy with, that I'm proud of, maybe I'm not gonna do that today. And that fear is always there. But I thankfully recognize that I am an artist and that's all I need to know. And I do believe that down to my very, you know, center. But I am an artist. I was just on a, on a girl, a painting retreat with some girlfriends, just got back yesterday and one of the women studied art. I met her out here. She's in, she's, um, born and raised in Utah, but it turns out she went to Wellesley College a mile from where I lived, and she studied art and she still says she has a hard time believing she's a painter. And, and I just thought, wow, you know, it's not just me, but I, I don't feel that way anymore. Do I have fear when I paint sometimes? Sure. But I recognize that that's part of being human and it's part of being humble and it's part of, um, life. Well, I'm very glad to hear that, and I'm glad that you were willing to take the time to speak with us from Utah and that you continue to have excellent success with the works that you are able to, um, share with the Portland Art Gallery. So thank you very much for joining me today. It's been my pleasure. Thank you so much, Lisa, and, and a huge thanks to the Portland Art Gallery. It's, it's delightful to work with them. Encourage you to go to the Portland Art Gallery, where the Portland Art Gallery website and experience some of her wonderful work. And I hope at some point, Julia, you'll make it back to the East Coast and, and spend some more time with us again in person. Oh, I absolutely will. You can count on that. Thank you so much, Lisa. Thank you.