This Maine Artist Creates Dramatic, Abstract Seascapes That Will Blow You Away: Meet MJ Benson

I have with me artist MJ, Benson, thanks for coming In. It's my pleasure. It's great to be here. Well, um, it's also my pleasure to see not only you, but this, this piece behind me, which is really quite something. Yes. I wanna start with you telling at me about it. Well, this is called Phoenix and it was done in the fall of 2020, which we all know was pretty crazy time. Um, and there was a lot going on in my life, a lot going on in the world. And I would go into the studio and just kind of paint like a crazy person. And there was a lot of gesture, a lot of thick paint, a lot of, um, lot of emotion going on in this piece. And, um, I, I really like my pieces. They're very, they're abstract, first of all, but they're definitely recognizable as landscapes. Um, I like them to be on this edge of dark and light. So some people look at them and they think, oh, that's scary. And some people look at them and they think, oh, that's like light coming out of scariness. So they have this very different sort of response to them. And this one in particular is kind of funny because I paint it, I hung it, it was actually in a show and then I changed it because it wasn't quite how I wanted it. So ironically, the name is Phoenix, so this is actually Phoenix too. And it actually, it kind of rose from the ashes of what I, I didn't like about it. And I, I changed did, and I actually made it darker up on the top. Um, but it is, it's sort of metaphorically, very, um, you know, appropriate to 2020 of this sort of rising from all this craziness that was unexpectedly thrown at us. Um, and also, you know, it was a very dark time in many ways, uh, for me, you know, personally, especially cuz of my brother passed away. So that was very difficult, but it was also a time when I realized that I created this really beautiful life up here that with everyone home and everyone, you know, realized how strong my friendships were, how wonderful it was to be able to practice up here as an artist and the support of that community. So there's this beautiful light in this piece as well. So of kind of coming out of this darkness. So, yeah, and it's one of my favorites, although it's kind of like kids where they're all like, they're all my if that makes sense. But yeah, And it, it almost seems, I mean, is it meant to be an, an ocean with a reflected sky or is that just me Reading into it? Oh no, it is meant to be that. So when I do my work, I, whether or not you can sense it in a representational way, my work is all about the horizon, which literally the horizon. I mean, the ocean has always been my, my home, my muse, my, my place of comfort and challenge too. Cause I, I swim a lot in the ocean of three different wetsuits so I swim as much as I can. Um, but it's also, I had an instructor a long time ago who talked about the horizon as the break between where you can breathe and where you can't sort of like between the ocean and the sky and also the land and the, and the sky as well and the ocean. So yeah, no, you are definitely seeing, um, a landscape in there and reflected sky in that, in the ocean. So yeah. So what was it like to go through 2020 and all the external turmoil, but then also lose someone that is very dear to you? It was really intense. It was, it was a little wrote. Was it toll soy who wrote the best of times? The worst of times Taylor was that him it'd been Dickens, but Dickens, somebody, I think it was it's so Russian that , it's very impress. He probably said something like that too. Exactly. Well, I mean, it's, it's a human condition to have those, those two things. Um, it was really intense. It was, it was deeply, um, like I was saying about my family and the community, it was deeply comforting in some ways like how we all pulled together and how we figured out how to sit outside and how we, you know, I went out and shopped for my neighbors who couldn't leave because they were in quarantine and they did it for me too. And that kind of thing. And, and how I really loved having my kids at home, at least most of the time, and even having my husband home from work, which you know, was kind of he's, you know, he's not, um, he doesn't enjoy that. So, but he still, like, we all just rallied together, but then it was so, you know, it was heartbreaking to see people struggling with their businesses and struggling with their livelihoods and their literally their lives and concern for their, um, their loved ones, especially our elders, their lot of people were really worried about them. Um, and then of course my brother had sarcoma was going through that and sarcoma, at least how it worked for him was he was fine. He was fine. He was fine. And then suddenly he wasn't and he was gone very quickly. Um, so that was really, that was really difficult. So I remember my, my sister throwing her hands up in the air and just saying, okay, what's next? I mean, what , what could you possibly do more, you know, to us, but, um, yeah, it was pretty intense, but it was definitely part of my, my creative work too, was to be able to go to the studio and throw myself sometimes, literally at my work. So yeah, It was also a time where we were still trigger, trying to figure out how to, um, how to mourn people and how to gather, to lay people to rest if that's, you know, if you happen to need a funeral in order to do that. I mean, so how, you know, how did your family handle that? Well, my family is, um, they're very stoic, so which they're very proud of. Um, so there's a lot of emotion in my family, but they're also like, okay, you know, um, buckle up buck up and, and, and, you know, we'll get through this. I remember my dad is a very, very positive person. He can see the silver lighting and pretty much anything. And I remember when, excuse me, when I talked to him, um, right after literally, you know, a few hours after my brother died, my dad said, well, we had him for 40 years longer than we, we should have, which kind of surprised me. And I said, what are you talking about? He said, cuz he'd been in a really bad car accident in college. It I'd forgotten about, but of course my father would never forget that. So that's what he sees, you know, he saw that. Um, and so we were, you know, there wasn't a lot of chest beating and, and wailing around it. Of course everyone was heartbroken, but we all knew we couldn't gather. So we connected with each other as best we could, um, over the phone on zoom. Um, my parents live right near us. So, um, and my sister was here when he died. So we all spent time together as you know, and my father who's, you know, my parents are 87 and uh, he said, I don't just hug me. I don't care. he? So it was very sweet. So, and had a lot of, I think in some ways, having it be difficult to travel or not being able to travel made it easier, at least on my parents that they didn't feel like they had to be there. And I know my brother didn't want anybody around, you know, sort of in that same stoic. Um, they mean, so it was easier for him to say, oh, you can't come because, because of COVID, but we did plan. Um, and we did have a big party, um, because he wanted an Irish wake. He wanted no black, he wanted no crying. He wanted, no, he wanted lots of beer drinking. And so, um, we had our version of an Irish week here, um, in Maine, his whole family came out is from Colorado and California. So we were able to mourn just later. So, um, but yeah, it was it's I guess mourn has, has changed. Um, just in terms of, we can't gather at a wake, we can't gather, or we couldn't have gathered in, in a church. Not that we would've done that anyway, but, um, we just found other ways to, to acknowledge him and, um, and I'm certainly doing that through my art to, um, I have, I got a grant from, um, the main arts commission to do an artist project grant, which is so exciting. It just, there's nothing it's so validating. It's wonderful. It's like, yes, we believe in your work and we wanna help you out. And it's great. Um, and part of that is actually doing, using earth pigments and, and stone and things like that from the areas where I'll Belen air painting and incorporating them into the work. And it's part of what, um, cause my brother was a geologist, he was the black sheep in the family. He was a scientist and we were all, we're all artists and creative people and inventors and designers. And, and so he was the, the sort of, of nerdy black sheep. Um, and, um, he, uh, he was always, um, you know, if I don't, if you remember the earthquake we had here, that little earthquake yeah. You know, I would call him and be like, did you see anything? And he, you know, I'd type up and look on his, you know, his, his sort of nerdy, like, um, I can't remember what earth, like the people who study earthquakes, what they're called by C seismologists that's I was thinking Volcan, no, that's, that's sort of close. And so he'd go online and say, oh yes, there was a blah, blah, blah. You know, it was centered in, you know, and so I would always talk to him about really interesting things related like between art and science specifically, excuse me, geology. And, um, so part of my sort of mourning and honoring him is to do that work, incorporate it with my work. So, and yeah, I've reached out to a couple of other, um, geologists in the area to sort of have them help me because normally I, I just call my brother and say, tell me about this, this rock. So I'm kind of trying to, to do a little bit of both there, if that makes sense. That's, that's so interesting because You've already Described your connection with water mm-hmm and then your brother's connection is sort of earth and stone mm-hmm and you're kind of coming back towards, towards his element in a, in a means of honoring him. That's a Really good way to look at it. Yeah. So what are you learning? Well, I'm learning that geology is complicated and, um, it's very visual, interestingly enough, cuz you know, know you're looking at work and also feeling it and um, and also that there really the line between art and science is so blurry. It really is. And I think I remember sort of listening when I was younger. It's like to people like Einstein and um, Neil Degrass, Tyson and people like that and realizing that science and math in particular to me at that point at a certain point becomes art because it's so you have to think outside these bounds. And so I think I'm, I'm just literally physically trying to put them together in a way. So that, that makes sense if that answers your question, but Yeah, it, it is really interesting because I think, um, , we've been in the last, I don't know, almost two years now we've been talking about following the science mm-hmm but people's idea of what the science is, is so much more concrete than what science actually is. Yeah. Exactly. Yeah. So, Uh, you know, when you talk to people who really are scientists, a lot of what they question. Yes. So we're supposed to follow the people who are looking for answers and questioning mm-hmm . Yeah. Which is probably something that you've been doing with your art. I would think for probably most of the time you've been doing it. Oh Yeah. I, one of my big things has always been to push the boundaries of materials. Um, even as a photographer, I was, I used to use a plastic camera and it was terrible for light leaks and it was just such a monster to deal with. And photography is so precise and people are very like, you know, your F stops and your, the balance of your chemicals and all that. That's good stuff. And, and I was going in the other direction, like just letting the whims of life kind of, that sounds really dramatic, but letting the whims of the camera sort of dictate how I responded to. And I of course was doing landscapes, um, at that point. But, and it's like a, and then the other thing with not just photography, but with painting is, and I've had so many discussions with different companies that make like gambling and golden and um, RF paints, which they do in caustic work just to talk to them about how I can combine materials, cuz there's certain effects that I want, but I don't want it falling off. And my work is not about something that's gonna fall apart. I'm not, you know, looking for something to get auctioned off and then have a machine go on and shred it like that Banksy piece . So I want my, my stuff to, to stay, to stay around. Um, but it is a constant play. And I think as artists, it's our job to, to push those materials, to, um, make people think about things in a different way. Um, you know, there's the consistent professionality of showing up and having your, you know, your vision and your focus and, and really diving deeply into one thing, but you also really have to play and you have to push those boundaries cuz that's, that's really our job, I think too. And I think that scientists and doctors and epidemiologists, excuse me, um, they do that as well. That, that they have to really think, well, we've never seen this. Like how do we, how do we manage it? How do we deal with it? You know? But you have to use the, what you have in place, you know, your, your protocols, your whatever, your, what you already know and then go from there. So if that makes sense, but Yeah, yeah, I think it does. And I think, um, I think that you're right, that you have to use the tools that you have in front of you as not a way to be kind of hammed in, but as sort of a structure that you're continually moving to use towards other purposes, but does require some experimentation and a willingness to maybe not succeed the first time you Try. Yeah. that's for sure. I, when I used to teach, I would spend and I taught photography, um, mostly to adults and teenagers, which most people, not the adults so much, but the teenagers, well you, why would you go? And I said, cuz they're still, they're old enough to know what's interesting and what they like, but they're not like so young that they're, they don't really know what they're like. They're still open. They're still, you know, they can be challenging, but anyway, um, but with adults in particular and teenagers, to some, some extent I spend most of my time unlearn like unlearning what they had. They had all these biases about their own abilities that they're, oh, I can't do that. And, and I had to teach them how to think about, have them think about what they were trying to do versus what they actually did and that both were, were good. And that that's how they, I learned was experimenting and kind of playing back and forth and being willing to fail. Um, I had a teacher, um, I went to the museum school in Boston and I had, there was a photography, um, teacher who I had, who was, I was his teaching fellow for years and love this guy, Jim Dow. And he had, um, a, another really well known, um, photographer come and speak to us and Martin par, who was part of, um, oh my gosh, Magnum in, um, the Magnum agency. And so he came and he showed us all his big fancy stuff. And of course we're students or, you know, wow, you know, how do you do that? And we can't do that. Or, you know, we Don that kind of stuff and, and he stopped and he thought, you know, and he said out loud, I, I should have shown you guys everything I screwed up because that you're seeing decades of success like of, but what you're not seeing are the decades of failures, which are a hundred times more than that one piece that you're seeing. So yeah, I totally agree that, that, you know, we have to fall on our faces to get anywhere, if that makes sense. So Yeah. Well, sure. I mean, in my field it's called the practice of medicine. Yeah. So I mean, patients don't like the idea that we might be practicing on them, but yeah, there is a reality to this idea that, you know, when you first start out, you probably do things you have to kind of keep, um, tinkering with the way that you approach situations. Yeah. And you get better at it over Time. Yeah. And everything's different even between my kids are only they're 20 months apart. And the difference between midwifery eight, you know, that time period was huge. Like they did everything completely D 20 months later and they were, it was just nuts. But yeah, it's kind of, I have to say, I've always felt, um, I, I love my doctor. Um, Megan Staton. Who's amazing. I don't, you know her, but she's wonderful. Yes. She's amazing. She's the kind of doctor who, if she can't figure out what I need, she'll like, we'll figure it out together and she'll give me ideas and things that, you know, I mean, and we're talking about like, I don't don't get her in trouble. I don't think I would, but you know, it's like this isn't, you know, you need a blood test for this. This is like, you know, you have a headache and we haven't figured out like why you have it? Like maybe it could be this or that or whatever. So people who are confident enough in their abilities to say, you know, maybe I don't know, but let's figure it out together or let's figure it out or let me look into it some more, like, that's just super important to have that ability to it kind of it's, it's an issue of confidence and, and experience in some ways, but I don't know. It's like, yeah. So, Well, it's also an ability to build trust with someone exactly where, you know, with Megan who, by the way, she went to residency around the time that I did, I mean, medical center. So I, I do actually know Megan well. Wonderful. Yeah. And, um, it's an ability to have enough of relationship with someone else that you can say, well, I don't really know, and that other person can say, okay, you know, they're willing to be part of that uncertainty with you. Yeah. And that, that actually is also part of, kind of the practice of relationship building over time. Exactly. Yeah. Well, but yeah, I think you also have to have a certain amount of confidence true in yourself and, and you know, how do we build that? But, and for me, as when I was teaching, it was like, how do I, do I help people get there? So they feel like, you know, and even sometimes for my own work, I might have a big, beautiful piece that everyone loves, but I just don't feel right about it. And I haven't finished it yet. And you know, it's in the studio and people have come to see it and I'll do something crazy, like throw some wacko paint or on it, or, but I have to have, I have to feel confident enough to know that I can, I don't know if it fix it is the right word , but to get it where it wants to go. And that's, that's really challenging. So I, yeah, it's kind of having that balance of those two things. It's pretty yeah. Or doing something really large, just something different. Like I did a hu huge painting, um, 72 by 72 inches, which I decided not to bring that today. , I'm kidding. Not that I could get it here easily. Um, and that was so much fun. And then also making smaller pieces or using a totally different material or, you know, a non square shape or some there's just so directions you could go. So yeah, it's really exciting. But when we interviewed you for the off the wall, um, publication that we do, you, uh, you mentioned that you got kicked out of high school. I, and I wouldn't ask you this, except you it's actually it's published. So it's published totally published. Well, so tell me about that. It's a whole hilarious thing, cuz I, when my kids were getting older, cuz they're 16 and 18 now and we were talking with friends about college and how to prepare for that. And I would say, you know, I got kicked just cuz people get crazy about that. I mean, there's a great book that, um, oh my gosh, what's his name? He wrote, it's what you do, where you go is out who you'll be. It's a great book about college, but anyway, that's another story. Um, but I would say, you know, you have to kind of calm down about it a little bit because I got kicked out of high school, but I have a graduate degree from Harvard. Like, so you just never know what's gonna happen. And it's really funny cuz people always assume it was drinking or, or some crazy thing that I did. And in fact, um, , it was academic and it was academic in that I decided when I was in seventh or eighth grade that I was gonna be an artist and a writer and I didn't really need to bother with everything else. So I would get and I'd classes and I'd get three A's and three F's and I was in a private school and they rightfully so, like, we can't give you a diploma with this kind of, I mean, they, they really couldn't and, and I don't blame them. So I was asked to leave after my junior year because I was just not willing to put in the work for this stuff that I wasn't interested in cuz I was a very stubborn teenager. So, but ALA here we are, I'm an artist and not very many people know my writing. It's, it's, it's a different part of my life. But um, I also, you know, I went to Harvard for graduate school. So , it's kind of, you know, it's you just never know. Um, I tend to invoke, um, people like, um, oh my gosh, what's his name? Bill gates. You know, who never, he never finished Harvard. So you know, other people like that or Einstein who formed math in sixth grade. So it's all to sort of make me feel better about doing something that people think is very, you know, out of the norm. But yeah, so that's the big got kicked out of high school story. It's really, you know, everyone thought, oh my God, you got caught, you know, drinking or you got in it. It's not, it was about my, who I was like, I, I knew what I wanted to do and, and I didn't really care to do the rest of it. So sometimes that gets in my way. But oftentimes that, that attitude gets me through things too, if that makes sense. So, well, I would think it Lends itself if you're in seventh grade and already knowing this mm-hmm , uh, it kind of lends itself to at uh, confidence, you know? Yeah, yeah. A little bit. It was, you know, I like my husband and I always say we want strong, confident children and, we got strong confidence children and it, you know, it's, it is, uh, you know, my parents were always sort of appalled. They're like, oh no, she's you was not doing well. It just gonna get kicked out. And they really wanted me to tow the line so I could have more choices. And, but on the other hand they were the ones who were like, be yourself, you know, do your own thing, find your own path, be an individual. So it was a little like, you know, it's that question authority, but not to your mother kind of like , I, I think My family was like That actually. Yeah. Yeah. And we find, you know, we find our way it's, but I think we all know that's a difficult path to, to constantly be fighting one thing or another when it's a lot easier to just follow the flow. And, and I think that, you know, my parents were in the, and I am often with my kids in that sort of like, oh, you know, how do I, how do I make sure you're doing what you want? You're happy and you know, you're being creative and you know, if you want to, um, but you're also able to like keep a roof over your head and that kind of thing. I think that's really, that was that fear, that parental fear of, you know, not my kid's not being able to, you know, take care of themselves at some point. So yeah. Yeah. That, that makes sense. I mean, when I think about my own children, I, I would want the same things for my own children. I, I want them to question authority, but I also want them to be able to care for themselves. Yeah. And really, because I think there are struggles associated with not being able to care for Yourself. Oh yeah. And you wanna be able to have that, um, have that flexibility to, to be able to, to know, like, I can do this crazy, but I can come home to, you know, um, to, uh, a warm meal and you know, on a roof over my head and maybe a dog curled up on the, on the couch. Um, and there's one other thing I was gonna say the, um, oh, well it's gone from my head. It'll come back. so what about the writing? What, what do you do with your Writing? I do a lot of, um, journal writing. I've done a, I've written a lot of like short stories and things like that, but those are very, like, I've never, like, you're like, I wanna know more about that cuz you don't, you used to that's another part of your life. Um, it's very, it's sort of very private stuff. Just like things I write and I don't it's funny cuz I, art is a very, I've always felt very confident in that world, but the world of writing and writers and that and publishing cuz of course I don't think about it just for my own pleasure or edification or whatever it's it's also, I have to think about, oh, how could I, you know, get this out into the world too. I'm always thinking about that part of it. But I, I don't feel as confident with that with my writing. So I will, I will probably keep that to myself for a while, but you never know. Well, there is a certain amount of exposure that goes a long with writing. Mm-hmm very, very similar to art. Yeah. I mean with art, you, you put it in front of other people and, and they're gonna, they're gonna think what they're gonna think. And writing is very similar. Mm-hmm you can, you can frame things the way that you want to, but people will read what they're gonna read into it. So it's not that strange for you to be concerned about, you know, how people might respond. Exactly. But yeah, it's kind of a, it's a very different, it's just a different world. So, and of course I, you know, I have, I always think of myself as like, oh, I can do all these things. Right. But then not necessarily as I've gotten older, although out has happened in some way. But I think as you get older, you get more efficient. You get smarter about how you work, even though, you know, it might, you might not have the energy that you had. Like I don't wanna be 20 years old again but I wish I had that energy. I really do. Um, but I know there's only so much I can do and I don't wanna pull away from the things I'm that are right in front of me that I'm deeply interested in knowing more about with my painting in particular. So I don't want, I don't wanna SAP any energy from that. So I think the writing is, is I don't and I also don't want that to become something that's too important as well. Like that, that I feel like I have to, you know, make that as important as the painting to, if that makes sense. I kind of it's like a, um, yeah, I kind of wanna maintain the energy that I have toward what I'm doing right now. So, Well, I mean, journaling for yourself is a very legitimate and worthwhile endeavor. Right? You don't necessarily have to censor or edit or bring to the surface or yeah. Yeah. So, and I often think of writing, at least my own writing. I think of it as, um, having a seasonality to it almost where, you know, there's the makes a lot of sense. Yeah. There's the season where you're, you're kind of more inward and you're doing more kind of pondering and experimenting And you're hibernating a little bit. Exactly, exactly. Like this time of you're when at four 30 it's midnight basically. Right, Right. Yeah. So this is just not, it's not the season for your writing to be out yet. Right. I like the way you put that yet that maybe it's a possibility, you know, maybe it's always that's right. Yep. Um, let me ask you one last question. I know that you're also an athlete and you've done marathons and triathlons. You talked about you're swimming. How does that work into your Artistic life? Oh, that's a really good question. Um, so when I was younger, my younger, I mean, when my kids were younger, running was my savior because I would get up at four 30 in the morning and I would go run by myself, nobody around you're doting like you, as I totally understand. And I wouldn't listen to music, I would just listen to the world around me and just pound the pavement. And it really, it kept my mind, you know, my head screwed on straight so to speak. Um, kept me happy during those sort of underwater times when your kids are so young. Um, and so it really helped me. And then I, I transitioned into triathlons because I started raising money for the main cancer foundation through the trier cure, which on an event it's just amazing. Um, and there's also one of the differences between just doing run like one sport in particular. And I was a cyclist before that too. So I had, was really confident as I'd ridden my bike hundreds, thousands of miles before that. Um, but putting them all together is a very, it's a brainy activity. It's figuring out the transitions and figuring out, um, how am I gonna get my shoes on and off? And like, there's just, there's a, there's a different kind of thought behind it. That's not just about like, if you go out for a long run, like, okay, have I had enough water? Have I had like, do it, like there's all these things you think about with triathlons. It's, you know, three times like multidimensional. So it's really fun figuring that out. But, um, one of the things we're doing lately with my husband and my son, who's 16, who's like, it's, he's, he's kind of a giraffe at this point. Um, but he's lifting weight, we're lifting weights, like heavy weights, like power lifting and it's been so fun. It's just really, it's amazing. And it's really, I mean, it's about having a healthy body, but also about keeping your brain active and it's really been good for all of us to just sort of, you know, when we're done lifting, we just feel like a million bucks. So yeah, it really helps with keeping everything, brain, body happy and chugging along. So yeah. Yeah. I'm, I'm, I'm thinking about my own, my youngest daughter mm-hmm and how she has gotten very much into CrossFit with her father, which it's been interesting for me to see over the last, I don't know how long she's been doing it, but let's say five years. Yeah. And you know, how she really got into having that be so participatory mm-hmm , you know, it wasn't, I don't know that she ever would've done any kind of weightlifting if she hadn't had her father to encourage her. But it's funny that that's something that you you're sharing with your son. Well, it it's interesting cuz I, when I met my husband, he was a body builder, which is different than lifting, cuz like, which I've learned, the subtleties is pretty interesting. Um, cuz body building is about making yourself look good and being strong. I mean that's sort of part of it. So when I met him, of course, I was like, why don't you teach me about bodybuilding and it was sort of a bonding experience for us. It was really fun. And I loved the way I felt after I did it. And I was like, I'm gonna do this for the rest of my life. I love lifting weights. Um, and then when we started doing it again, cuz we just have various changes in our lives. It would, we, we have a friend who's a really well known body bill, um, a weight lifter and she recommended this gym in Westbrook. And so I was like, why don't we and do this together? Cuz that's kind of how we like started off with doing this. And then, um, I thought, you know, we were leaving, we'd go Sunday mornings and my